Bill's Beer Wall

2009-08-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Scape Goat Pale Ale
The Still: Big Sky Brewing Company
Missoula, Montana
http://www.bigskybrew.com
The Drill: Pale ale, 12oz bottle, 4.7% ABV
The Spill: To tell the truth, I don't remember how this beer tasted. I can form an opinion and a what would probably be a fairly accurate depiction based on the website's description and a few online reviews, but what's the use in making something up? Based on the beer's low ABV, it's probably pretty mild and drinkable, as other reviews have described it. Tell you what: if I have it again, I'll make an addendum here and insert a real review.
Says Bill: Maybe the biggest challenge about continuing this blog is delving deeper into my past and encountering more and more beers I can't remember much about. What I can remember about this one is where I had it: Idyllwild, California, Memorial Day weekend 2008, when Holly and I celebrated our 3-year dating anniversary. That weekend, we also tried Wells Banana Bread Beer, Abita Purple Haze, and the horrible Wild Blueberry Lager. This beer didn't impress as much as the Banana Bread Beer, and it didn't disgust as much as the other two, so I guess it was relegated to the forgetful middle ground.
Refill?: Funny how a beer called Scape Goat has a review full of excuses from me, isn't it?: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-08-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Old Stock Ale
The Still: North Coast Brewing Company
Fort Bragg, California
http://www.northcoastbrewing.com
The Drill: Old Ale, 12oz bottle, 12.5% ABV
The Spill: Sit down before drinking. Rich leather colors the brew, which smells of oak and alcohol. The flavor invites you in for a taste of fruit, rum, and brown sugar, but the overtones in the aroma still hold court in the taste, along with a significant amount of bitterness and what, for lack of a more specific term, I can only describe as oomph. The alcohol, as high as some wines, is a definite flavor characteristic, though it's said that aging the bottle will allow it to mellow. When drunk fresh like I had it, this is a beer that should come with its own seat belt.
Says Bill: I like a bold, adventurous beer, probably more so than the next guy. However, even my tastes are limited. Bigger isn't always better if you haven't acquired the appreciation for what you're drinking. A couple online reviews compare this beer to the barleywine style, of which I am not a fan. The brewers also recommend that you try this concoction at room temperature, which would wake it up even more, and surely throw me for an even bigger loop. In any case, it's a humongous beer, but I don't think I could take more than a few brave sips. At least, not without a little more practice.
Refill?: Well, yeah. Otherwise, I'll get teased for having met my match: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Boont ESB (Extra Special Beer)
The Still: Anderson Valley Brewing Company
Boonville, California
http://www.avbc.com
The Drill: ESB, 12oz bottle, 6.8% ABV
The Spill: This bitter pours a light honey color with a generous ivory head. The nose is lightly hopped, along with an orangy-sweet maltiness. The taste is a two-parter: the malts come first, sweet up front with a slightly heavy mouthfeel. Then, the hops kick in, hitting the back of the tongue and cleaning the finish with a sharp and slightly sour punctuation. This award-winning beer tastes like a lot of good stuff is packed into it. Like carbs.
Says Bill: While their beers stand alone without the need for any kind of pomp and circumstance, the folks at Anderson Valley have still developed a fun little gimmick. They've printed a large series of quotes, puzzles, jokes and the like on the inside of their bottle caps, and if you collect 50 or more unique bottle caps, you're eligible for induction into AVBC's Hall of Foam.
Refill?: If the compulsive and competitive prospect of bottle cap collecting doesn't turn Dave's teetotaller girlfriend into a beer drinker, I don't know what will: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-08-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Black Toad Dark Ale
The Still: Black Toad Brewing Company
Chicago, Illinois (contractor)
Goose Island Brewing Company
Chicago, Illinois (contractee)
http://www.gooseisland.com
The Drill: Porter, 12oz bottle, 5.3% ABV
The Spill: The beer is a deep, ruddy brown with a creme-colored head. The aroma has notes of chocolate, roasted malt and toffee. The flavor presents a tickle of fruit on the very tip of the tongue. The rest of the beer is dark bread, with a smooth, almost velvety finish and a touch of chocolate. It's a little light for a porter, but they call it a dark ale, which, technically, a porter is, but perhaps some expectation is reduced that way, and rightfully so.
Says Bill: Like the Stockyard Oatmeal Stout, this beer is actually brewed by Goose Island. Also like the Stockyard, I've only seen it at Trader Joe's. Why all the Trader Joe beer on the Wall lately? Easy. They sell bottles individually as well as in six packs, so it's easy to go and try a new brew without having to pick up more of them than you'll actually wind up wanting to drink. Why does Trader Joe's have so many sneaky beers that aren't really made by the people they say they're made by? I have no answer for that one. But this beer isn't half bad.
Refill?: Black Toad. Better than Bad Frog: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Blackened Voodoo Lager
The Still: Dixie Brewing Company
New Orleans, Louisiana (contractor)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixie_Brewing_Company
Joseph Huber Brewing Company
Monroe, Wisconsin (contractee)
http://www.minhasbrewery.com
The Drill: Lager, 12oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: This darker take on a lager pours red with a creme-colored head. Its aroma is fruity, with a hint of bread. Conversely, the taste is bready, with a hint of fruit. The body of the beer is light, with a carbonated mouthfeel, and the beer winds up with a slightly bitter, boring finish.
Says Bill: This beer has an alluring name, but the quality of the contents doesn't make it worth a repeat buy. The brewery itself has a much more interesting story: the Dixie Brewing Company was founded in New Orleans in 1907, but was severely damaged by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. They gave the brewing rights for this beer to the Joseph Huber Brewing Company until the brewery's fate is decided. Meanwhile, Joseph Huber, the second oldest continually operating brewery in the U.S. (established 1845), was bought out by the Mountain Crest Brewing Company, a Canadian outfit, and renamed Minhas Craft Brewery. So this beer, which boasts its origins in the South, is now made in Wisconsin, by a company from Canada, under a different name than its actual DBA.
Refill?: Not until I can prove whether or not Carmen San Diego works there: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

The Swill: 60 Minute IPA
The Still: Dogfish Head Craft Brewery
Milton, Delaware
http://www.dogfish.com
The Drill: India Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 6.0% ABV
The Spill: The more streamlined version of the spectacular 90 Minute IPA, this is clearly a little brother version. Lacking much of the intense quality of the 90 Minuter, this brew still holds up to standard IPAs. This brew is continuously hopped for a solid hour, which means that a measure of hops is added to the wort every minute, on the minute, for an hour while it boils, giving the beer plenty of hop character. Less on the citrus, more on the piney, and overall, more easy-going and drinkable, this beer is great for a drinking session, and it won't knock you off your stool until you're ready for the dismount.
Says Bill: Dogfish Head has introduced some real wild beers over the years, so I was surprised by how tame this one seemed. However, I guess if you're going to craft a standard, mainstream brew, and it comes out tasting like this one, it's nothing to complain about. It deserves a place right next to the Sierra Nevadas and the Firestones as a standard beer that still exceeds expectations.
Refill?: I could continuously hop my belly for 60 straight minutes too, if it meant drinking this: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Bard's Gold
The Still: Bard's Beer Company
Utica, New York
http://www.bardsbeer.com
The Drill: Gluten-free beer made from sorghum malt, 12oz bottle, 4.6% ABV
The Spill: This beer pours amber with a frothy white head. The nose is of a wet pilsner quality. The flavor is light, yet surprisingly sweet. The aftertaste is a little undesirable, turning sour at the very end, but overall, the beer is unexpectedly good, particularly because it's missing one of beer's most basic ingredients. Taking that into account, it's hard to say what it should taste like, but it tastes more like beer than a good many piss-poor brews out there.
Says Bill: The founders of Bard's Beer Company both suffer from an intolerance to wheat gluten, as do roughly 2 million other people in the U.S., including my wife's cousin, Dawn. She told me once that beer gave her a bad reaction, with the exception of Budweiser, who infamously brews their beer with a good amount of rice to cheapen the cost of making it. This fact made it easier for her to drink their drivel, and it was the only choice for beer on account of her allergy. Thankfully, there is now another option for her and all the people like her. And of course, regular drinkers can try it, too.
Refill?: Dawn, put down the Bud. Pick up a Bard: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Golden Stone Amber Ale
The Still: Metolius Brewing Company
Portland, Oregon
no website available
The Drill: Amber Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.5% ABV
The Spill: There isn't much going on with this beer. At a scant 21 IBU, there certainly isn't any bitterness, though there isn't a whole lot of anything else, either. I suppose it's sweetish (not to be confused with Swedish, which it is not), but mostly, it's just wet. My friend Robert tried a bottle, and called it, "Just beer." That's about the best review I can give it.
Says Bill: I didn't take any notes when I drank this one, mainly because I was left with nothing to write. It's amber, and it's beer. There's not much else to write, really. I don't think I'll be trying any of their other beers, either. From the .pdf file I found online that listed their 5 available beers, I didn't receive much encouragement. When your IPA is 16 IBU, you don't have to come right out and say it's weak. The numbers speak for themselves.
Refill?: What does Metolius mean? I wonder if it's the name of the Greek God of boring beer: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-08-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Coney Island Lager
The Still: Shmaltz Brewing Company
Saratoga Springs, New York
http://www.shmaltz.com
The Drill: Lager, 22oz bottle, 5.5% ABV
The Spill: This unique lager pours honey brown with a white head. Rich malts escape the nose, complimented by a pleasant, light, cherry-hop note. The taste, fresh and cold from a glass, is sweet, and almost honey-like at the front, followed by a mellowing, smooth, lagery finish and the tiniest hoppy nip at the end. However, as the beer is given time to warm and breathe, the smile on the label's funhouse face turns to a sneer, and the deeper, more bitter notes of the beer take on a sinister affectation.
Says Bill: I've really enjoyed the stuff I've tried from Shmaltz. They put a lot into their beers. This one, for example, uses 8 different malts and 6 strains of hops. Also, their marketer, Melissa, was kind enough to leave a comment here the last time I reviewed one of their beers. Most lagers don't have this much character and complexity, and it's a perfect example of how a beer can mature and change in its surrounding environment.
Refill?: It's also a clear message to those nimrods at Coors that if your beer has to stay cold to be drunk, it must suck: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Mission St. Pale Ale, Mission St. India Pale Ale
The Still: Steinhaus Brewing Company
Paso Robles, California
The Drill: Pale: Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 4.6% ABV
IPA: India Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 6.1% ABV
The Spill: The pale pours orange-yellow with a white head. It possesses a good, hoppy, citrusy aroma with a significant sharpness. The flavor is less intense than the nose, but with the same attributes. Still, it's a much mellower beer than it's aroma would lead you to believe.
The IPA pours a light honey color with a white head. Its nose is lighter than its brother brew, hoppy, but without the sharpness or the citrus. The flavor is somewhat hoppier, but still without the boldbness than one would expect from the beer's name and style.
Says Bill: Here's another one of those mystery breweries whose beer, I think, can only be found at Trader Joe's. Steinhaus doesn't have a website, which is rare for a brewing company these days. So rare, in fact, that those that don't are immediately considered suspect by this blogger. Paso Robles is home to the Firestone Walker Brewing Company, whose beers I have enjoyed a good many times. Methinks they've diluted their stuff and sold it to TJ's at a deep discount. It's good, it's just not impressive.
Refill?: Make it your mission to craft some braver beers: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Redhook ESB Original Ale
The Still: Redhook Ale Brewery
Woodinville, Washington
http://www.redhook.com
The Drill: Extra Special Bitter, 12ozbottle, 5.8% ABV
The Spill: This beer pours a honey color, with an aroma of malt and bitter hops. It tows the line of skunkiness, but it stays on the right side of that line the whole time. The flavor is a lot more bready and malty than the scent would lead a drinker to believe, without any real trace of hops or skunkiness, though a slightly citrusy finish on the back of the palate does signal the hops' existence.
Says Bill: The term "bitter" is a bit of flase nomenclature, as many beer styles can be, and often are, much more bitter than this brew. The term was coined in England, where sweeter malty brews like porters and stouts were often the order of the day. As a result, the bitter was only really bitter by comparison. I bought this beer in the beginning of the summer while I was on my quest to break out of the dark beer mold and find some suitable beers for summer. After having a bad experience with an ESB a good many years ago, I was hesitant to try this one, but I was very surprised when I did. Overall, it's not a strong beer, but one that's very drinkable, and, as one of Redhook's flagship beers, if you like it, you can enjoy it all year round.
Refill: It certainly isn't as bad as a certain ESB I had in the 90s, which I, as well as two former roommates of mine, won't soon forget: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-08-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Fat Weasel Pale Ale
The Still: River Trent Brewing Company (contractor)
Ukiah, California
Mendocino Brewing Company (contractee)
Hopland, California
http://www.mendobrew.com
The Drill: Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, ABV unknown
The Spill: This beer pours out the color of straw with a white head. The aroma is pilsner-like, with not much hops doing. It also has a sweet pilsner taste, almost as if it was put in the wrong bottle. The mouthfeel is thin, not crisp like a pilsner, but wet and watery through and through. There is absolutely no hop flavor in this beer, so much so that to call it an American pale ale is a flagrant misnomer.
Says Bill: This beer isn't bad, or offensive, but it's not pronounced in the way that any pale, good or bad, ought to be. It's completely unobtrusive and wholly underwhelming. It's also another one of Trader Joe's mystery beers, brews that are contract-brewed for the retail chain, and are attempted to be made untraceable by renaming both beer and brewer. I must imagine the contracted brewing company is insulted by this on some level, and they give TJ's the bland crap to slap their own name on. It certainly would explain this beer if that were the case.
Refill: Fat weasel, thin skunk: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-07-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Raven's Eye Imperial Stout
The Still: Eel River Brewing Company
Scotia, California
http://www.eelriverbrewing.com
The Drill: Imperial Stout, 22oz bottle, 9.5% ABV
The Spill: This highly carbonated concoction pours a deep, dark brown, opaque in a glass, with a khaki head that you can hear fizz away as it dissipates. The nose is sweet and dark, charged with nine kinds of malt, lending it a chocolately humor with a hint of alcohol. The taste is dark molasses with a light black licorice and bitter finish. The mellow flavors come out more as the beer warms, though it never becomes quite as robust as imperials are known for being.
Says Bill: Eel River boasts being the first certified organic brewery in America, quite possibly the world. They also boast a good deal of awards for their beer, which they've unselfishly shared on their website. What does being organic mean for the quality of beer they produce? I honestly have no idea. Does it mean that no hormones are used in the hops? Does it mean that the raven in the label isn't using steroids? Dunno. But it's pretty good beer.
Refill?: I wouldn't say nevermore to this raven: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Primo Island Lager
The Still: Primo Brewing and Malting Company
Irwindale, California
http://www.primobeer.com/homePage.aspx
Pabst Brewing Company
Woodridge, Illinois
http://www.pabstblueribbon.com/AgeVerification.aspx
The Drill: Lager, 12oz bottle, 4.65% ABV
The Spill: Pours copper with a thick white head. The nose is pilsner-like and sweet, perhaps due to the addition of "pure island cane" according to the label. The flavor is generally lagerish, if nondescript, though a slightly sweet aftertaste follows if you believe hard enough. It's definitely a chuggable beer, but it's not very big on character.
Says Bill: I saw this for the first time just a couple weeks back. Suddenly, I started seeing it everywhere, which raised an eyebrow. Sure enough, just a little searching turns up the fact that the beer is made by Pabst. Just another attempt by a commercial beer giant to remarket their cheap beer to get craft beer drinkers to buy it, and they pulled one over on me. I bought a six pack because it boasted cane sugar and had a neat label with the profile of a Hawaiian king that reminds my of one of my favorite local resaturants. Looks like I need to pack a laptop with me next time I go looking for new beers so I can do my research onsite.
Refill?: The big boys are getting crafty. Too bad their beers aren't: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Kiper Bock
The Still: Browar Kiper
Piotrow Trybunalski, Poland
http://www.sulimar.com.pl/english/
The Drill: Bock lager, 11.2oz bottle, 7% ABV
The Spill: Pilsners, having been invented in Eastern Europe, are the most popular style of beer in that region. It's no surprise, then, that this bock resembles a pilsner in nearly every way, rather than the genre advertised on the label. Pouring brassy with a fizzy white head, the nose is all pilsner. The flavor is weak, also comparable to a pilsner, with a little extra malt, and an unpleasantly sweet, metallic finish.
Says Bill: Having more Polish blood than anything else in my ethnic makeup, I really want to like all things Polish. The food? Check. The language? Check. (OK, the dirty words, and that's about it.) The beer? I hate to say it, but I haven't found one yet that's palatable. It makes me sad. When it boils down to it, I'm an American, and American beers are by far my favorite, so I at least have that going for me. But it's a hard truth to admit that many of my ancestors come from a country that makes some real shitty beer. Sorry, Motherland.
Refill: The label says the name is pronounced "Keeper." The beer itself, however, is not: 0.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Apollo Space Crafted Ale
The Still: Big Bang Brewery
St. Paul, Minnesota
(no longer in business)
The Drill: Ale, 12oz bottle, ABV unknown, no longer in production
The Spill: Crafted as an homage to the Apollo space program, this beer was bottled in attractive cobalt glass with a simple but elegant silk screened logo. I don't remember anything about the taste of the beer, and the back label says little to jog my memory: "From another world. Aged ale. But aged on very earthly oak." Maybe it was tasty, but now I'll never know for sure.
Says Bill: My dad bought this beer and gave me a bottle. With yesterday marking the 40th anniversary of the first moon landing, I thought it would be a good time to post it online. (Yesterday would have been an even better time, but I was distracted.) If memory serves, this beer came out around the time of Apollo 11's 30th anniversary, so I guess this post marks Apollo Ale's 10th anniversary as well, though it's no longer around. I wish it was. It was a cool concept that joined two of my favorite passions together, space and beer. I wonder if the astronauts have space beer in those little drink pouches so they can knock a few back on the ISS? I bet the Russians do...
Refill?: That's one small drink for [a] man, one...giant gulp for mankind: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Celebrator Doppelbock
The Still: Privatbrauerei Franz Inselkammer
Aying, Germany
http://en.ayinger-bier.de/?pid=263
The Drill: Doppelbock, 11.2oz bottle, 6.7 ABV
The Spill: This rich, authentic German beer pours the color of Coca-Cola. It carries traditional sweet doppelbock aromas, such as toffee, molasses, cherry and Tootsie Rolls. Towering malts give this beer a rich, complex and inviting flavor with much to delve into and explore. All of the notes mentioned in the nose are also present in the taste, brought forth upon a smooth, bready mouthfeel.
Says Bill: My buddy Robert gave me this beer, promising that I was in for a treat. He didn't lie. This was much better than I expected a German beer to ever be, me with my predisposition for the American stuff. It's a funny tradition that many German (and American) beers that follow this style have the suffix "-ator" in their names. The first to be brewed was called Salvator, which is still available today, and many have followed suit since, something that should give my friend Scott endless hours of fun.
Refill?: "Celebrator? I just met her!": 3.5 taps out of 5.

A TRIBUTE TO THE FALLEN: CROOKED RIVER BREWING COMPANY, CLEVELAND, OHIO

2009-07-12T00:29:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Black Forest Lager
The Still: Crooked River Brewing Company
Cleveland, Ohio
(Out of business since 2000)
The Drill: Lager, 12oz bottle, ABV unknown
The Spill: I really don't remember much about this beer, other than the fact that I was unimpressed by it in the 90s when I drank it. It was presumably mild, mellow, and yellow, and lacking the oomph that I was looking for, having already turned my tastes almost exclusively to dark beers, and not having gained any appreciation for a well-made light one. The bottle's label promised "a medium-bodied, golden lager with a malty sweetness and hop aroma that characterize a true Bavarian-style lager."
Says Bill: If there's one thing Ohioans--particularly Clevelanders--are proud of, it's their own kind. We brag about those things that are native to the City On the Lake. Arsenio Hall, born in Cleveland. Did the arm-twirling-bark-like-a-dog-schtick every time he came out on his late-night talk show. That move was invented in Cleveland Municipal Stadium, then home of the Browns and Indians. "The Drew Carey Show"? Oh yeah. You better believe we were all over that back in the day. In fact, I used to proudly tell people that I graduated high school with Drew's second cousin, Mike. True story. Even Bob Hope, while born in London, attended high school in Cleveland. He thus became ours, if you grew up there, and even attended the closing ceremony of Municipal Stadium in 1993 to sing "Thanks For the Memories." Anyway, good or bad, we Clevelanders reveled in all of that which was Cleveland lore. Sometimes all we had was the bad things to cling to, particularly with sports:
The Drive.
The Fumble.
The Shot.
Anyone from Cleveland knows what those refer to, and I was unlucky enough to watch all of them happen live on television. Some folks still refer to Cleveland as "The Mistake By the Lake," and "The City Whose River Caught Fire." (More on that later.) In any case, the point I'm driving at is that we Clevelanders loved our Cleveland beer just as much as anything else that came out of our hometown. The Crooked River Brewing Company was a small distillery that we could all call our own. It wasn't great, but it was ours, and that was enough. I'd tasted a good many of their beers, and wanted to like them, even if I didn't. In fact, in a town that identified with underdogs and losing, it may even have been the fact that they often produced less-than-stellar beer that endeared them to us so. Crooked River was served at Cavs games. You could find it in any grocery store. It was on tap at a good many local bars. Yet, because of bad business decisions, the company eventually folded in 2000, but not before leaving behind a respectable legacy of beer that was dedicated to the attributes that put Cleveland on the map. (I'll touch on a lot more of that in following posts as well.) Some may look on this as just another Cleveland failure, but some of us remember the Crooked River Brewing Company with more romance: another outfit from our great city with the cards stacked against them, who ultimately failed, but not before leaving their mark on our memories, as well as our hearts.
Refill?: If only. For the beer: 2 taps out of 5. For the chance to try it again: 5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-11T17:42:00.001-07:00

The Swill: Sierra Nevada Porter
The Still: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company
Chico, California
http://www.sierranevada.com
The Drill: American porter, 12oz bottle, 5.6% ABV
The Spill: The folks at Sierra Nevada may have a love affair with hops, but they take the crafting of the malty stuff just as seriously. This porter is a paragon of what to expect when trying a beer of this style. Not too dark, but certainly not too light, the aroma and taste are rich with mildly roasty malts and easy caramel and coffee overtones. The hops stay out of the way, letting the malts go to work, but balancing them nicely so the beer's not oversweet. The result is a highly drinkable dark beer that's not too thick, but not too thin.
Says Bill: There's something to be said about a company that doesn't go overboard in giving their beers fancy or obnoxious names. Either they're operating on a shoe-string budget, or they're completely lacking in creativity, or they just know how to make good beer. While I can name examples of the first two, thankfully, the last is the case with this brew. One of the better porters I've had, it comes off as a no-frills beer that speaks for itself. A great introduction to beginners who want to learn what the dark side of beer has to offer.
Refill?: Insert ridiculously obvious Darth Vader joke here: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samichlaus Bier
The Still: Castle Brewery
Eggenberg, Austria
http://www.eggenberger.at
The Drill: Lager/Doppelbock, 11.2oz Bottle, 14% ABV
The Spill: Put the kids to bed before popping this one open. One of the most alcoholic beers around, it may cause a contact buzz. Chock full of malt to fuel the fermentation process, highly sweet, fruity overtones prevail. However, the alcohol is also unmistakable. Not for chugging, this is another beer which requires a slow, patient enjoyment, and perhaps even the use of the buddy system to finish it off. Look for a golden raisin note within the creamy mouthfeel.
Says Bill: Samichlaus is how they say Santa Claus in Zurich, which is where the beer was originally crafted in 1979. The label says my beer was bottled in 2006, which means it was brewed on December 6, 2005. This beer is only brewed on December 6 each year, the Day of Saint Nicholas in Europe. It's then fermented for the better part of a year in order to let the yeast do all of its work converting sugars into alcohol. It works. Many wines don't have this much alcohol in them. Almost no other beer does.
Refill?: Strap yourself down to something before trying it. Or maybe just drink it already lying down: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-08T17:43:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Pipeline Porter
The Still: Kona Brewing Company
Kona, Hawaii
http://www.konabrewingco.com
The Drill: Porter brewed with Hawaiian coffee, 12oz bottle, 5.4% ABV, available September through March
The Spill: Smooth and highly drinkable, this porter is, in and of itself, not a bold beverage. However, the addition of Kona coffee to the brew enhances its roasty aspect quite nicely. Nearly black in color, the mouthfeel is thin, facilitating the aformentioned ease in going down, though the flavor nearly makes up for it, as does the finish, which is pure coffee.
Says Bill: A popular concept, as readers of this blog have no doubt noticed, coffee added to a good dark beer can serve to increase that which is already inherent in the brewing style. However, exceptional dark beers have no need for the assist when it comes to providing a deep and roasty flavor. Which is not to say that it's cheating, although it kinda is, particularly if you subscribe to the Reinheitsgebot Purity Law. However, it's kinda fun to throw a little flair into a beer now and then, especially if it's done right.
Refill?: I like my beers a little more chewy, like the other stuff you associate with the word pipeline: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-07-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Lost Abbey Serpent's Stout
The Still: Port Brewing Company
San Marcos, California
http://www.lostabbey.com
The Drill: Imperial Stout, 25.4oz bottle, 11.0% ABV, available early winter
The Spill: This is a monster. It pours black, with a maple head. The malts are prevalent in the nose, but not as a burnt offering as many bold, roasty stouts are. Rather, the notes that come out in the aroma are mainly of grape and chocolate. The mouthfeel is highly carbonated, and not extremely dense as a result, but it does leave a lingering film on the roof of the mouth. The flavors start with black licorice, an all-too-brief visit of chocolate and dark-roasted coffee, followed by alcohol and a winey, dark fruit finish. Further down the bottle, by the second glass or so, the chocolate and coffee begin to emerge more prominently, allowing for more enjoyment as the beer truly begins to open up down the stretch.
Says Bill: The definition of a session beer is one that is drunk repeatedly over an extended period of time. However, this beer is a session in itself, as you can't drink it down in one fell swoop. In fact, I spent two hours enjoying this behemoth. Taking your time on a quality beer allows several things: the beer is allowed to warm closer to room temperature, which often brings more flavors out; it also becomes aerated, like a wine that "breathes," which can also enhance the beer's defining characteristics. Lastly, it keeps you from getting so hammered off of an 11% beer that you wind up tasting your last meal more than what you're drinking now. All of these things are crucial to maximum enjoyment, but perhaps none moreso than being cognizant of the fact that you can't truly experience a beer and reexperience macaroni salad at the same time.
Refill?: Come to think of it, I can't think of any beer that's best served with macaroni salad: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-07-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Phuket Lager Beer
The Still: San Miguel Beer (Thailand) Ltd.
Pathumthani, Thailand
http://www.phuketbeerusa.com
The Drill: Pilsner, 11.2oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: This sad excuse for beer pours a sickly, barely yellow hue. Anyone who gets within a foot of it will immediately notice a totally skunked-out nose, a strong defense against anyone who would dare taste it. If you somehow can get past that, sniffing ever-so-carefully, you can detect a hint of unappetizing sour malt. If you haven't turned back yet, and actually pour this evil solution into your masochistic maw, expect a thin, watered-down mouthfeel, offering a lightly sour, joyless malt flavor, coupled with a foul metallic finish, as if the bottled beer was poured from a rusted steel can. Either that, or your tongue has spontaneously begun bleeding from the severe insult you just subjected it to.
Says Bill: Get away. Get away now. Now, and fast. Anyone foolish enough to approach this beer after reading this stern warning hereby does so at their own risk, and Bill's Beer Wall takes no responsibility for any taste bud injury which may occur as a result. Thank God I only paid a dollar for this heinous experience. Trader Joe's had a section of shelving marked off to sell single bottles, and, while I didn't think I was going to enjoy this beer when I selected it, I thought it was unique enough to try anyway, having never drank a beer from Thailand before. Based on the taste of this dreck, you'd think Thailand was the name of a Romulan colony. The back label clearly stated that the beer was bottled on March 20 of this year, and that it should keep for a full year after. Either it didn't, or it was exposed to too much sunlight through the green glass bottle, or it's just plain shitty beer. I'm voting for the last one.
Refill?: Phuket Beer? C'mon, that's too easy: 0 taps out of 5.

BEER FLASH UPDATE: KID ROCK BEER TO PREMIERE THIS MONTH

2009-07-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

Piss in, piss out: Anheuser-Busch urinal photo courtesy of Urinal.net

A few months back, I alluded to a rumor that Kid Rock was coming out with his own brand of beer, courtesy of Michigan Brewing Company and Drinks Americas Holdings, Ltd. It seems the time is drawing near for all of us to greet this beer on the retail shelves.

The first batches of Rock's "American Badass Beer" are in production now, and the beer will debut at a Kid Rock concert in Detroit's Comerica Park July 17. It's surely only a matter of time before it can be swilled down into indescriminate beer guts nationwide after that.

Why am I knocking the beer before I've even tried it? According to the article I read, Rock says that people who enjoy "premium beer" won't like it. "I want this to be like the beer I drink," he added, which, presumably, means that it won't taste premium. Sounds like I had it right from the beginning. Nevertheless, I'm sticking to my original promise to try the beer and review it here for you.

As much as it my suck for me. At least I'll be taking the hit so you don't have to.

Na Zdrowie,

Bill

2009-07-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Bison Organic Chocolate Stout
The Still: Bison Brewing
Berkeley, California
http://www.bisonbrew.com
The Drill: Stout brewed with cocoa, 22oz bottle, 6.1% ABV
The Spill: Not unlike Rogue's Chocolate Stout, this beer possesses what it takes to live up to its name. Rife with dark, bitter, powdery cocoa notes that compliment a rich and roasty stout body, this beer has everything in it that one would expect when the words "chocolate" and "stout" come together. Even beginning beer drinkers should find something in this beer to latch onto and enjoy, whether it's the sweet, the bitter, or just the good, hunky mouthfeel.
Says Bill: I may be a little heavy on the hyperbole to accurately recount this beer, considering I only had one bottle of it in the winter of 2006-2007. However, I needed to think some pleasant thoughts to help me forget about the last entry I wrote. See, I was drinking a bottle of Honey Moon at the moment I found it was owned by Coors. I swear the taste of the beer actually changed for the worse the moment my eyes scanned those fateful words. Anyway, I digress. This entry is supposed to be about Bison, not Coors, so let's get back to it.
Refill?: Bison is NOT owned by Coors, so definitely: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-07-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Honey Moon Summer Ale
The Still: Blue Moon Brewing Company
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
http://www.bluemoonbrewingcompany.com
The Drill: Ale brewed with honey and orange peel, 12oz bottle, 5.6% ABV, available May to August
The Spill: The biggest letdown with most honey beers is that you can't taste the honey. That's not the case with this beer; the honey is prevalent both in the aroma and the flavor, and the orange peel adds an additional sweetness to the brew as well. The problem is that there's no real beer flavor to compliment it, and, as result, the overall taste is a little too sweet. However, if you're looking for beer that doesn't taste like, well, beer, this mellow yellow would be a wise one to reach for.
Says Bill: I get 90% of my information you read on this site from the print on the labels and my own, steel-trap memory. However, occasionally I do a little research, and turn up some interesting findings, like this one: Blue Moon Brewing Company is owned by Coors. That's right. The makers of the cold-activated bottle are the ones who bring you Blue Moon in all of its variations. Now it makes sense: none of the beers I've reviewed by them have ever rated above 1.5 taps, and, now that my mind is tainted with this new knowledge, none of them probably ever will.
Refill?: The honeymoon's over: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-07-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sierra Nevada Summerfest Lager
The Still: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company
Chico, California
http://www.sierranevada.com
The Drill: Lager, 12oz bottle, 5.0% ABV, available during summer
The Spill: One wouldn't expect a light offering from a brewing company obsessed with hoppy creations, and you don't have to worry much when it comes to Sierra Nevada. As tame as lagers usually are (as this one isn't a major exception), Sierra Nevada still packs theirs with more hops than you would expect, lending the lager a nice bite and a crisper, cleaner finish than a lager usually yields, safeguarding their reputation as a true hop-head's brewing company.
Says Bill: I bought a 6-pack of this stuff last year, and wasn't really moved by it one way or the other. One online review called it "inoffensive," while another said it was the epitome of regular beer. That's pretty true in my opinion as well. It didn't leave much more of an impression on me than that, otherwise I'd be writing more.
Refill?: Sure. I mean, if that's all you got, sure. See? Even my final say is wishy-washy: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-07-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Mortality Stout
The Still: Reaper Ale
El Monte, California
http://www.reaperale.com
The Drill: Irish stout, 22oz bottle, 7.5% ABV
The Spill: This stout pours black with a khaki head. The nose is bitter and malty, with just a hint of roasted quality. The adventure ends there, however, as the rest of the beer does nothing to back up its inviting aroma. The mouthfeel is watery, and the flavor is sour, with a characteristic that is almost cola-like, rather than anything one might expect from a dark beer.
Says Bill: Many years after his first foray into skull beers, Dave called me up one day and asked me if I'd ever tried this one. I hadn't, and some time passed before I finally did, as it wasn't on the shelves for a while. Recently, I found it, and I invited Dave over for a taste. Both of us were immensely disappointed, and Dave swore that he didn't remember his last experience being this bad, as he never would have recommended a beer to me by its bottle alone. Neither of us wanted seconds, and more than half the bottle found its way into my sink drain.
Refill?: Dave, I forgive you. Reaper Ale, I do not: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-07-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Dead Guy Ale
The Still: Rogue Ales
Newport, Oregon
http://www.rogue.com
The Drill: Maibock, 22oz bottle, 6.5% ABV
The Spill: A classic for bottle collectors, this one actually has a classy beer in it as well. Pouring a hazy, light amber in color with the slightest of off-white heads, this German-style maibock boasts a good deal of fruity malts in the nose, as well as the body. The mouthfeel is bready, and the hop character isn't enormous, but well-balanced to let the malts do their work. The finish is an unusual one, dusty with yeast, which almost cleanses the palate for the next sip.
Says Bill: Dave has a thing for collecting skulls. He bought this beer back when he was just a lowly Bud drinker, and found it impossible to choke down an entire bottle. However, he got his skull out of it, and the urge to have me add it to my collection as well. Nowadays, he'd probably find it passingly good, if a little on the weak side. It's not my style for an everyday beer, but the bottle is pretty cool, I must admit. Especially because this one glows in the dark.
Refill?: Originally dedicated to El Dia De Los Muertos, I propose this beer to be enjoyed on the Fourth of July as well. After all, what do America's forefathers all have in common? They're dead guys, too: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-07-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Vanilla Bean Porter
The Still: Buckeye Brewing Company
Lakewood, Ohio
http://www.buckeyebeerengine.com
The Drill: Porter with vanilla, 12oz bottle, ABV unknown
The Spill: A rich porter with an equally rich vanilla nose, this beer delivers as promised. The vanilla is not as prevalent in the taste of the beer as in the aroma, but most extra ingredients never are. Still, the beer satisfies those who enjoy their bitter and their sweet equally.
Says Bill: With today being the Fourth of July, I'd be remiss if I didn't include a beer with a red, white and blue label, and this one was the most patriotic one I could find. I had this beer in 2006 when I took Holly back to Ohio with me for the first time. I think my Dad may have gotten this beer for me to try. Holly liked it a lot, and she was just beginning to expand her beer horizons. I don't know if this beer is still being made. Research shows that the Buckeye Brewing Company sold half their business, and the headquarters for the company moved from the east side of Cleveland to the west side. As with any small microbrewery, the list of brews can change constantly, and some may never be seen again.
Refill?: Bottle. Rock it. Happy Fourth, everyone: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-07-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Bad Frog Beer
The Still: Bad Frog Brewery
Rose City, Michigan
http://www.badfrog.com
The Drill: Lager, 12oz bottle, ABV unknown
The Spill: Typical beer in a less than typical bottle, Bad Frog's label sports a picture of a frog flipping the bird, which has led to its banning in several states, including Ohio. Not much is missed; the amber lager is much like any other plain-Jane beer you might encounter. It's really only the label that attracts the drinker. Even the website doesn't have much to say about the beer. Rather, it's more concerned with hocking merchandise and promoting their bad-boy image.
Says Bill: A brief Wikipedia article mentions the beer's banning. Legend had it that a bar in Ohio called the Winking Lizard smuggled the beer in from Michigan and kept it hidden from view, and the only way to order it was to give the bartender the finger. And hope that he knew what you meant when you did it.
Refill?: I wonder what he'd serve you if you pulled your pants down. Busch?: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-07-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Athenian: The Greek Beer
The Still: Athenian Brewery, S.A.
Athens, Greece
http://www.beerexports.gr
The Drill: Lager/pilsner, 11.2oz bottle, 5.0% ABV, no longer produced.
The Spill: A typical hot-weather beer, this brew was no doubt produced to help the locals and tourists sweat out the long summer days in Greece. More wet than flavorful, it's designed to satisfy a dry throat rather than a bored palate. Research turns up no leads indicating that this marque is still in production; could be that people wanted a little bit of flavor after all.
Says Bill: My friend Margaret is the only other person I know who claims to have tried this beer. 5 or 6 years back, she visited Greece during the summer. After a midday hike up a mountain in 110-degree weather, a couple of these really hit the spot for her. I bought mine about 10 years ago from West Point Market, my then employer. Living in Ohio at the time, chances were good that I did not drink it while it was 110 degrees out, not did I drink it following a hike up a mountain. As a result, I was much less satisfied with it than Margaret was.
Refill?: Considering I'm not even sure you can find the stuff anymore, no: 1 tap out of 5.

THE LORD OF THE DRINKS: MR. BILBO'S, AKRON, OHIO.

2009-06-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

"Bill," you ask, "have you been resting on your laurels these past 11 days? Are you so self-satisfied with posting your 100th beer that you're suddenly leaving well enough alone? Must we go on starving for your beer wisdom?"

The answer, dear friends, is no. Absolutely not. The first 100 beers were just that: the beginning. In fact, I've been hard at work behind the scenes, prepping the next batch to go up online. In the past 10 days, I've photographed no less than 126 bottles of beer. I've cropped, resized, and touched up each picture to best represent both the beer and the Wall, and saved them all into my Awaiting Review folder. And there are over 100 more still awaiting my attention, plus all the new ones I'll be trying between now and the end of my current collection. Yes, my friends, I have not yet begun to blog.

That being said, one of the boxes I dug through contained a very special artifact which I felt necessary to share with you on the Beer Wall: a beer cozy from the greatest bar I have ever set foot in, Mr. Bilbo's.

In 1980, years before the Lord Of the Rings movie trilogy made J.R.R. Tolkien's works accessible to an audience that wasn't merely comprised of LARPing Dungeons and Dragons nerds, Mr. Bilbo's was established in the heart of downtown Akron, Ohio. The place was a little watering hole that served both college students and working professionals who worked and studied nearby. They kept a couple beers on tap, but a great many in bottles. They served typical greasy spoon pub food, featured special weekly event evenings such as Thursday's Stupid Toy Night, and boasted the greatest jukebox in history. Some of the barkeeps and waitresses I remember by name: Don, Rudy, Katie, Tammy. Some came and went, others stayed to the bitter end. It was rare to see more than two on any given night, as the bar was rarely busy during the time I frequented it, and that was one of the reasons I loved it most.

The cultural and tourist-attracting renaissance that Cleveland underwent in the mid 1990s spilled over into Akron a couple years later. When Cleveland built the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Great Lakes Science Center, and a new stadium for the Cleveland Indians, Akron followed suit with the Inventors Hall of Fame, Canal Park (which serves the Indians' AA farm team, the Akron Aeros), and a rejuvenated downtown district and University of Akron college campus. As a student of that university, I began exploring downtown Akron with my friends. Many new hip clubs on Main Street opened and closed in a matter of months, changing names as quickly as young people change fads, yet Bilbo's remained a constant. There were many other options open to young adults--the Cosmic Cow, the Vault, the Groove Shack--but none seemed as inviting to me as the little hole-in-the-wall with the awesome beer, a jukebox full of classic rock, and quiet locals who let each person color the place as each saw fit.

I remember the very first time I set foot inside Bilbo's. It was February 1997, and I had just turned 19 a few days before. It was opening night of a play I was in, "A Doll's House," by Heinrik Ibsen. I had just finished my first performance as a villain in a fully-staged production, and the play was well-received. Everyone in the cast was flying high on adrenaline, and we marched downtown from the college campus through the bitter cold wind to drink in celebration. I was apprehensive about walking in the door, though there was no bouncer to check our IDs. I confided in my castmates: "What if the bartender asks for my driver's license? I'm not 21." They told me not to worry as they took their seats and I remained standing, prepared to be asked to make an early exit. About 10 of us were there altogether. A few days earlier, my director and mentor, Susan Speers, was surprised when I came to rehearsal on my birthday and announced that I had turned 19. She admitted, "I would have thought you were 27." It's true, I had always come off older than my real age, and I'm sure the Victorian-period goatee and mutton chops helped me on that particular fateful night at Bilbo's, but I was still very uncertain that I would pull a fast one on the staffers. Nevertheless, when Don, the bartender, stepped around the bar and approached our table, taking drink orders, I asked for a beer when he got around to me, and he took my money and fulfilled my request without raising an eyebrow. It was then that I knew I had to come back to this place, and often. And often I did. I made a good many memories at Bilbo's:

I began honing my palate on many different beers.

I introduced Dave to the best beer ever.

I celebrated with many a cast of actors after a show.

I had my first Screaming Turkey.

I mastered the Keith Moon drum solo on the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again."

I set personal records for most shots consumed in one night (16) and longest hangover duration (36 hours) in the same sitting.

Sean and I almost got kicked out for wrestling.

I celebrated Dave's little sister's last night of freedom before she joined the Army.

I learned how to do the Hustle from a woman who worked construction.

I had my last Screaming Turkey.

I learned all the words to Monty Python's "The Philosophers Drinking Song."

I called out a gay guy who was flirting with my ex-girlfriend.

I foolishly almost threw away my friendship with Dave over the same girl while we were still dating.

I regularly crowed along with the jukebox to Bob Seger's "Like A Rock."

I called off work for the first time because I just didn't feel like leaving the party.

I celebrated my twenty-first birthday, but still had to lie about my age, because I'd been coming to the bar and getting served for the past two years.

I had some chips and cheese.

I defined my relationships with some of the best people I've ever known, and count as my friends today.

Then, sadly, on December 30, 2000, Dave and I set foot inside Bilbo's for the last time. We had been living in Cuyahoga Falls, a 25 minute drive from Bilbo's, and tough economic times had forced the owner to cut back on the days and hours that the business was open. A few visits to the bar, only to find it dark and locked, had caused us to find other haunts that were in closer proximity to our bachelor pad and were open regular hours, seven days a week. Alas, none were ever as cool as Bilbo's. The night of December 30, months after our last recent visit, our girlfriends wanted to go downtown. We voted for Bilbo's, but they wanted something with more scene. We accompanied them to a club down the street, quickly decided it was lame due to the thumping music and overpriced Coronas and Heinekens, and announced that we were leaving. We strode north on Main Street in the blustering snow and ducked inside our old hangout. It was then that we got the news that this was the second-to-last night of Bilbo's existence. The following night, New Year's Eve, they planned a big party, which we couldn't attend due to prior commitments, and at 2:15am, January 1, 2001, the first day of the new millenium, they would shut off the lights and lock the doors forever.

Dave and I were stunned with remorse. We asked ourselves the questions that usually accompany the 5 stages of grief: How could this place close down? If we had continued our regular patronage of this, the greatest bar in history, and continued to bring our other friends here, would it have made a difference? Why couldn't other people see what a landmark place they were losing? Why did they have to go to the newest club down the block when it would change names and ownership in a few months anyway? This place was a constant in our history, as far as Dave's and my friendship was concerned. In a way, coming to the realization that this was our last night at Bilbo's was as painful as growing up. We had no choice but to drown our sorrows in style, and drink only the Greatest Beer Ever Made, in the Greatest Bar That Ever Served It.

By the time our girlfriends tracked us down, we were shitfaced.

They walked in the door to see us clinking two more bottles of Great Lakes Brewing Company's Edmund Fitzgerald Porter together, and swilling them down our sentimental throats. They asked us how many we'd had, and we blubbered incoherent responses. We clung to our souvenirs and each other, bemoaning this sad, fateful night. Ultimately, the tally was 17 beers: 8 for Dave, 9 for me. We refused to leave over and over again, but my girlfriend, who'd driven us all, finally put her foot down. We rode home, Dave and I falling asleep in the back seat, pulling over every couple of miles so that Dave could lean out and ralph on the street. When we got home, Dave's girlfriend tried helping him inside the door, but I gnashed my teeth at her, refusing to let Dave out of my care. I would help him in, I told her, he's my best friend, not yours. We each stumbled inside, arms around each other, our free hands holding the last remnants of Bilbo's that existed: two foam rubber beer cozies with the bar's logo silkscreened on the front.

It is this very same beer cozy that you see before you. The last vestige of what was once the Greatest Bar In History.

Long live Mr. Bilbo's.

SPECIAL FEATURE: BILL'S BEER WALL'S TOP 100

2009-06-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, it's worthwhile to stop and take a look behind you to see what you've accomplished. With the 100th beer now posted to Bill's Beer Wall, I feel the time has come for me to do just that. So here's the deal: I've now reviewed 100 beers in this blog, and rated them all according to my own tastes and opinions. If you're a newcomer, or if you need to do some catching up, or even if you're just curious about what I think, I've gone through the painstaking trouble of making a definitive list of these 100 beers. Let me reiterate, this list only includes the 100 beers that I have rated so far. With over 200 left to share with you, this list will continue to develop and evolve over time. And, naturally, the list is always subject to change. I'll probably return to it once I hit beer #200, or maybe I'll make a separate top 100 list of those. In any case, without further delay, I give you, from best to worst, Bill's Beer Wall's Top 100 Beer List:

1.) Storm King Imperial Stout
2.) Sam Adams Imperial Stout
3.) Double Dead Guy Ale
4.) Sam Adams Imperial White
5.) Sam Adams Double Bock
6.) 90 Minute Imperial IPA
7.) Sam Adams Honey Porter
8.) Rogue Chocolate Stout
9.) Sam Adams Irish Red
10.) He'Brew Jewbelation Twelve Anniversay Ale
11.) Double Dog Double Pale Ale
12.) Guinness Foreign Extra
13.) Stockyard Oatmeal Stout
14.) Anchor Porter
15.) Riverdriver Porter
16.) Walker's Reserve Robust Porter
17.) Sam Adams Holiday Porter
18.) The Obamanator
19.) Stone Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout
20.) Wells Banana Bread Beer
21.) Deschutes Jubelale
22.) Anchor Christmas Ale 2008
23.) Full Sail Wassail
24.) Winter Hook
25.) Midas Touch Handcrafted Ancient Ale
26.) Midnight Sessions Lager
27.) Longhammer IPA
28.) Torpedo Extra IPA
29.) Stone Pale Ale
30.) Meantime Coffee Porter
31.) Snow Cap Seasonal Ale
32.) Palo Santo Marron
33.) CoCoNut Porter
34.) Uerige Doppelsticke
35.) Mighty Arrow Pale Ale
36.) Drop Top Amber Ale
37.) Old Chub Scottish Style Ale
38.) Real McCoy Amber Ale
39.) Prelude Special Ale
40.) The Big DIPA
41.) Southern Hemisphere Harvest Ale
42.) Morimoto Soba Ale
43.) Firestone Double Barrel Ale
44.) Union Jack IPA
45.) Stone Cali-Belgique Pale Ale
46.) Sam Adams Blackberry Witbier
47.) Uerige Sticke
48.) Red Trolley Ale
49.) Tropical Mango Pale Ale
50.) The Czar Imperial Stout
51.) South Rim Oatmeal Stout
52.) Oak Creek Nut Brown Ale
53.) Telegraph Robust Ale
54.) Woodie Gold
55.) Pale 31 California Pale Ale
56.) Drifter Pale Ale
57.) Black Butte Porter
58.) Oak Creek Amber Ale
59.) Bison Organic Gingerbread Ale
60.) Sunshine Wheat Beer
61.) Perla Chmielowa
62.) Pyramid Apricot Weizen
63.) Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale
64.) Blue Star Wheat Beer
65.) Franziskaner Dunkel Hefe-Weisse
66.) Asahi Black
67.) Oak Creek Pale Ale
68.) Gulden Draak
69.) Starry Night Stout
70.) Oak Creek Lager
71.) Buzzsaw Brown
72.) Samuel Smith's Organically Produced Ale
73.) Sirius Hi-Gravity Cream Ale
74.) Big Swell IPA
75.) Bikini Blonde Lager
76.) Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome Ale
77.) Road Dog Porter
78.) San Miguel Dark Lager
79.) Mojave Red
80.) Skinny Dip Beer
81.) Shiner Bock
82.) Aldaris Porteris
83.) Blackout Stout
84.) Lost & Found Ale
85.) Abita Purple Haze
86.) Kiltlifter Scottish Style Ale
87.) Dundee Original Honey Brown
88.) Mojave Gold
89.) San Miguel Premium Lager
90.) Abita Amber Ale
91.) Baltika No. 8 Wheat Ale
92.) Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale
93.) Sam Adams White Ale
94.) Rising Moon Spring Ale
95.) Tiger Lager
96.) Wild Blueberry Lager
97.) Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
98.) Old Milwaukee
99.) Moe's Backroom Amber Ale
100.) Romulan Ale

BEER #100: GUINNESS FOREIGN EXTRA.

2009-06-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Guinness Foreign Extra
The Still: St. James's Gate Brewery
Dublin, Ireland
http://www.guinness.com
The Drill: Imperial Irish Stout, 11.2oz bottle, 7.5% ABV
The Spill: A brew not found in the U.S., Guinness Foreign Extra is a rare treat. Basically the Imperial version of their world-reknowned hallmark, the Foreign Extra is quite simply that: Guinness times two. Or maybe even three. Pouring the expected jet black, with a noticeably darker head than the unleaded stuff, the inviting aroma is sweet with molasses and prune, rather than the nutty and sometimes sour-metallic nose that one would expect to come drifting above the widget in a can of the usual stuff. The mouthfeel is thicker and more carbonated, and the flavor is a clear improvement. A definite Imperial Stout character, featuring rich notes of molasses and coffee, the beer is a pleasure to behold, like nothing any other form of Guinness can offer, save for the telltale nutty Guinness finish.
Says Bill: This is far and away the best thing I've had with the name Guinness on the label. I'm not a big fan of Irish stouts; I think if anyone truly likes the dark stuff, something American will blow anything European out of the water any day. However, I was still delighted when Holly brought this home with her when she came back from her most recent trip to Ireland this past March. You can't get it in the U.S., at least at a retail beer store. BeerAdvocate.com, the leading beer review website on the net, featured a good many reviews of the stuff, but all that mentioned where the bottle was purchased said either the Bahamas or Ireland itself. I feel privileged to have experienced this beer, and grateful to Holly for grabbing it for me. Don't you wish you had a wife like her?
Refill?: If only every bottle of Guinness tasted this way. Maybe I wouldn't make that poopy face when I drank it: 4 taps out of 5.

THANK YOU....FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY FRIDGE.

2009-06-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say a quick thank you to all the people who have made Bill's Beer Wall what it is today: a blog about beer with 4 followers:
Margaret: My fellow theater geek and lover of alcohol. While we may not always agree on what makes a good beer, we both agree that there's nothing quite like one.
Frank: My dear friend, who I am happy to say has seen his own taste in beer increase drastically through knowing me. You still enjoy that occasional bottle of Corona when I'm not looking, but you know you like it better when I bring the good stuff over.
Victor: Without whom this blog may not have gone on existing, Victor has been a staunch reader, and has gotten on me during the lean times, when I haven't posted my due share. Thanks for pushing me when I've been lazy. One of these days we're gonna skip work and knock back a few at Naja's.
Dave: My best friend of 13 years now, who has enjoyed more beer with me than anyone else. I still remember the days when you were a Bud drinker and the good stuff screwed your face up. I'm awfully glad those days are behind you. I think it's the reason why we're still friends after all these years.
Want to see your name in the credits? Subscribe. For free. Become an out-and-proud follower of Bill's Beer Wall today, and you may just see your name mentioned here. Although there are a few more mentionables that I shall list:
Josh from Flying Dog and Melissa from Shmaltz: The fact that my blog has been read by two people in the craft brewing industry so far gives me the warm, fuzzy feeling that I'm on my way to becoming some sort of beer pundit, even if that feeling is only in my head. Of course, that may also be the alcohol. Still, it's my hope that this blog someday becomes a trusted source for beer lovers far and wide, whether they're looking for their first, their worst, or just their thirst. Whatever they durst. Okay, that last one was a stretch. Moving on:
My Dad: Without whom I never would have had the idea to start saving all these bottles in the first place. You've read the story already, I'm sure. If not, go here. They say some things run in the family. Apparently, saving things we don't need is one of them. But those things we save are interesting, and each one of them has a story behind it if you're patient enough to listen to the telling. By the way Dad, happy early Father's Day. I'll try to call this weekend, but I might forget. I'll be doing blog research. I bet you will too, wink wink. Love you.
My wife, Holly: Who has spent many a patient evening waiting for me to finish the last entry before I head up to bed. Holly has read each of my blogs with the same vim and vigor that she did when I first began this project four months ago, and it is still her shoulder I peer over, and whose chucklemeter I base each final say on before I publish my reviews. If she thinks it's funny, it goes down in the "Refill?" line. If she groans, it's a keeper for sure. I love you, Bee.
So, where to next? Bill's Beer Wall is about to turn the corner on Beer Number 100. Will it still be the same old drivel, with the same boring pictures, the same formulaic layout, and the same tired punchlines? In a word: Absolutely. However, I am planning a little something extra, if you'll allow me the couple of days I'll need to get it together. Also, I'll be digging into the past in coming blogs, as most of the beers I've tried over the last year have already found their way onto these pages. As promised before, some of the older brews will begin to appear, along with some pretty cool stories, which no one will probably find more fascinating than me. But I bet you'll still read them...

Bill's Beer Wall: changing the world, one liver at a time.

Na Zdrowie,

Bill

99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL...

2009-06-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Woodie Gold
The Still: Karl Strauss Brewing Company
San Diego, California
http://www.karlstrauss.com
The Drill: Pilsner, 12oz bottle, 4.6% ABV
The Spill: This is a Bohemian-style pilsner, according to the brewers, yet it tastes more like a lager. Buttery yellow in a glass with a white head on top, the nose presents a wet breadiness, rather than one that's dry and clean. The body is smooth and lagery as well, with that self-same breadiness in the mouthfeel. The taste is easy, lightly buttery, with no hoppy bite. Certainly one to please the masses, without any of the skunkiness inherent in the beer produced by the masses.
Says Bill: Not exactly a complex beer (think white bread you can drink), but one you can enjoy several of. And, with it being the season to knock back your fair share to stay cool, the low alcohol will help keep you from getting too warm in the process. This beer has one note, which is uninvasive, but pleasant. It does this singular job well.
Refill?: Go give yourself a Woodie. Better yet, get one from somebody else. You liked that one didn't you? Little devil: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sunshine Wheat Beer
The Still: New Belgium Brewing Company
Fort Collins, Colorado
http://www.newbelgium.com
The Drill: Wheat beer, 12oz bottle, 4.8% ABV
The Spill: Advertised by the crafters to be even lighter and more refreshing than a hefeweizen, this beer pours out a light yellow with a white head. The nose promises lightness as well, a crisp, pilsner aroma, with barely a hint of floral hops. The flavor is sweet and clean, with smooth clover accents, and not much else to add. Certainly a light, thirst-quenching beer for the hot days of summer.
Says Bill: I know lots of people like their beer light. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any light beer, would there? As far-reaching as those tastes may be among the uneducated, this one lacks too much in character for me, much like New Belgium's Skinny Dip, which I also reviewed recently. However, we here at Bill's Beer Wall (actually, it's just me) try our (er...my) best to remain impartial, and judge each beer based solely upon its characteristics and those which are to be expected from a beer of its style and caliber. That being said, here's my take on hefeweizen light:
Refill: Sunshine, you do not make me happy when skies are gray, but you deliver as promised: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-06-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Prelude Special Ale
The Still: Shipyard Brewing Company
Portland, Maine
http://www.shipyard.com
The Drill: English holiday-style ale, 12oz bottle, 6.8% ABV, available November through January
The Spill: Similar in some respects to the Full Sail Wassail, this holiday beer concentrates on producing a warm, snuggly, malty flavor to get you through the cold winter months. Not quite the electric blanket that the Wassail is, it still has plenty of sweet dark malts (caramel and crystal, presumably) that invite the drinker in, and no real hops intensity to push him back out. Plus, at 6.8% ABV, there's plenty of alcohol to keep him there.
Says Bill: Also like the Wassail, this was another one of those variety pack beers that I dug out of the back of the beer fridge last winter. I was happy I finally did. I always held some sort of stigma or bias against the variety pack beers you might find in a Cost Plus or a grocery store. I always figured those were the companies who were desperate to get someone to drink their beer, since they weren't content just to keep it in a six pack and sell it that way. I guess between the expired European beer and surprisingly good stuff in variety packs, I have to shift my paradigm a bit.
Refill?: From a Prelude to a kiss. Which means Holly will tell me I smell like beer again: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-06-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Aldaris Porteris
The Still: Aldaris Brewing Company
Riga, Latvia
http://www.aldaris.lv
The Drill: European Porter, 16.9oz bottle, 6.8% ABV
The Spill: Brown in color, this brew follows traditional recipes for porters, at least according to the bottle's label. The ale's body is dense enough for a porter, and a caramel flavor is evident, but it's sour as well. Many European beers have exhibited this shortcoming, but it's always difficult to point the finger at the beer itself when you don't know how long it's been sitting in the bottle. Lesser known beers tend to spend more time on the shelves, after all.
Says Bill: This was the other beer that Holly and I ordered at Gambrinus in Redondo Beach, the first being Baltika No. 8, which I reviewed in this blog's infancy. Both beers were disappointing, and I've long adhered to the belief that that's just what you get with European beers; they just aren't my style, and American ones are. However, I was examining the label on this one, and I noticed the batch number stamped on the back: 01.12.06. Now, if that's a date, which it certainly looks like, then I drank this bottle about two and a half years after it was bottled. That's not good. I think the folks at Gambrinus ought to rotate their stock a little more often.
Refill?: Gambrinus, how dare you mess with my confidence in beer assessment. Now I don't know who to blame: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Drifter Pale Ale
The Still: Widmer Brothers Brewing Company
Portland, Oregon
http://www.widmer.com
The Drill: Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.7% ABV
The Spill: This beer pours a deep honey color with a slightly off-white head. The nose is clean and unassuming. The beer has a smooth and drinkable mouthfeel, though not crisp. The mild hops give it a slightly clovey front and body, which gives way to a light but malty finish.
Says Bill: Another late spring foray into the pales, I was surprised by the mildness of this one. Widmer likes their hefeweizen; it put them on the map as their most popular, flagship beer. It's not surprising, then, to taste a little of the same floral esters in this beer as are found in their hef. I suppose that makes it unique, but for me, it's a little confusing as well. For the average beer drinker, however, I'm sure it would be an adventurous hit: not the one-trick hops pony most pales are, for sure, and nothing of the sort that would truly make you wince if bitter's not your thing, but for me, it was a little weak.
Refill?: I guess I'm turning into more of a hop-head than I once thought possible: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Torpedo Extra IPA
The Still: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company
Chico, California
http://www.sierranevada.com
The Drill: India Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 7.2% ABV
The Spill: Introduced this year, the Torpedo is Sierra Nevada's first IPA with year-round availability. Known for their generous use of hops in nearly every beer they craft, a beer like this is no surprise from them. Huge and hoppy, the beer greets the nose and palate both with an immediate blast of bitterness. The pine-flavored hops never quit in this beer, with a bitterness rating in the 70s to 80s. If it's hops you're looking for, it's hops you'll find if you make this your destination.
Says Bill: The folks at Sierra Nevada take their hops seriously. This beer's press release delves into the full story of the brewery's commitment to using only whole-cone hops. Other brewers save money by using more affordable and accessible hop pellets, which are hops that have been ground and molded into something that resembles hamster food. Sierra Nevada claims that they have only ever used the entire hop cone when making all of their beers. A noble pursuit.
Refill?: Noble is also the name of a popular hop strain. If you're a beer geek, I just made a funny: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Longhammer India Pale Ale
The Still: Red Hook Ale Brewery
Woodinville, Washington
http://www.redhook.com
The Drill: India Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 6.5% ABV
The Spill: Not as intense as many other IPAs, this beer is a highly approachable specimen of its class. Crisp and clean with hops, but only to a bitterness of 38.5 IBU, it's an easy-drinking, flavorful beer that plays well with your dinner. A great session beer for sure, this is the kind of beer that equals summer in this drinker's eyes.
Says Bill: With summer here, I've been working on developing a taste for pale ales and other highly-hopped beers. Never my standard, as I've always been a stout fellow (in taste, anyway; staturewise I think to think of myself as long and lanky), they're still a clear winner over the alternative sissy brews that are made with the purpose of quenching the heat rather than satisfying a picky palate. Come wintertime, I'll gladly go mad over the roasted malty stouts and porters again, but in the meantime, this served as a great introduction to the pales for me, and would for you, too.
Refill?: Stop. Hammertime: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Skinny Dip Beer
The Still: New Belgium Brewing Company
Fort Collins, Colorado
http://www.newbelgium.com
The Drill: Seasonal summer ale, 12oz bottle, 4.2% ABV, available during summer
The Spill: An extremely lightweight beer for summer, the goal in crafting this was to make a beer that was highly drinkable that still retained plenty of character. Brewed with kaffir lime leaves for a citrusy zing, the beer still falls short in body and integrity on this drinker's palate. Plenty of laypeople should enjoy knocking back a good many of these beers, however, during these warm summer months with their barbecues and pool parties.
Says Bill: I've never been one for the beer-plus-citrus fashion. Don't put a lemon in my hefeweizen or a lime in my lager. Save them for your nasty bottle of Corona. That being said, summer isn't a big time of year for me to go out and stock up on the seasonals. I admire New Belgium most of the time, but a few of their beers are far too light for me, and this is one of them. Their website is cool and worth reading. I learned there that New Belgium is the first wind-powered brewery, and each of their employees gain a vested ownership in the company upon their one-year anniversary. Plus a shiny new bicycle.
Refill?: I wouldn't get naked to drink it: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

The Swill: He'Brew Jewbelation Twelve 12th Anniversary Ale
The Still: Shmaltz Brewing Company
Saratoga Springs, New York
http://www.shmaltz.com
The Drill: Imperial Porter, 22oz bottle, 12% ABV
The Spill: Listed as a limited release ale on the bottle's label, the beer tastes most like a porter, which is a member of the expansive ale family. Add to that the beer's enormous body and character, and the word Imperial must precede the word porter. The ale pours a very dark brown, opaque except through the very sides of the glass. The mouthfeel is slick and oily. Robust with dark fruit flavors like currant, yet with a mellow coffee bitterness as well, both flavors combine further down the bottle into a thick, rich, caramel and toffee flavor, which disguises all taste of the alcohol. The sweet, winey fruits return at the finish, winning out over the roasty malts.
Says Bill: This is a fun beer, brewed with 12 kinds of malt and 12 kinds of hops in honor of the company's 12th anniversary. At 12% ABV, it could get you into trouble, too. Fortunately, it's a stick-to-your-ribs kind of beer, which makes for a long, slow, patient enjoyment. Go to the website and read the write-up on this beer. It's pretty funny, as are some of the company's other beer names, like "Rejewvenator" and "Messiah Bold."
Refill?: Shmaltz knows malts: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-06-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Moe's Backroom Amber Ale
The Still: Contractor: Tap Room Brewing Company
Rochester, New York
Contractee: City Brewing Company
LaCrosse, Wisconsin
http://www.citybrewery.com
The Drill: Amber Ale, 12oz bottle, 4.8% ABV
The Spill: This beer's label claims it was brewed to celebrate the repeal of prohibition in 1933. Apparently, the beer that was made immediately after prohibition ended was weak and watery, as if the thirteen years during which alcohol was a banned substance in the U.S. made everyone forget how to make good beer. A contract brew, the credit goes to Tap Room Brewing Company, though the beer is actually made by City Brewing Company, LLC, who, on their website, claim to be one of the largest commercial breweries in the country. Any devoted reader of Bill's Beer Wall knows that good things come in small packages. The converse of the argument is also true. 'Nuff said.
Says Bill: It was a month ago that I tried this beer. My best friend Dave was playing host for his girlfriend Sara's 30th birthday party at their house. Sara's birthday is May 6th, the same as my father's, and the party was on the 9th. I showed up late, having come from a rehearsal with the band I sing in. Dave picked up a 12-pack of this beer at the grocery store across the street from where he lives, intrigued by its nostalgic label, affordable price, and the fact that he'd never seen it before. Upon trying it before my arrival, he was disgusted and dismayed, as were the other people who had reached for it instead of the Sam Adams he also supplied. Apparently, a conversation took place in my absence where everyone agreed to convince me to try this beer so they could eagerly await my review. When I got there, Dave was the first to greet me, and he played out his role to perfection. He ran outside and grabbed a cold, wet bottle from the washtub he was chilling all the beer in, found me a church key, and waited with bated breath while I popped off the top and poured it into a glass. Just then, my wife entered the kitchen, and performed just as convincingly, grateful that she was there to witness the moment of my first taste. Then, Frank walked in. And Margaret. I took my first sip in front of four witnesses. I held the beer in my mouth, waiting for something--anything--to register, then sadly swallowed what felt and tasted like nothing more than slightly fuzzy water. I looked at Dave, still eager to hear my reaction, and searched for the right words to tell my best friend of 13 years in my own sorrowful way that he had lost his edge when it came to knowing a good beer from an awful one. Then Marisa walked in. My friend Marisa, common-law wife to Frank and Margaret (explanation to follow in later blogs), is not a beer drinker. She despises anything that tastes like beer. Anything remotely beer-flavored, or for that matter, even remotely masculine, registers as an immediate turn-off to her. She looked at me as I was taking my third sip of this sorry excuse for what should have been a holy elixir and said:
"Oh. You're drinking the water-beer."
It was then that I knew that I'd been had.
Nearly everyone at the party was in on the joke.
Big-time prank on the beer guy.
Get everyone to sell him this beer, say it's a delight and a pleasure to drink, and make him think he's crazy for not agreeing with you. Maybe it's he who's lost his edge. Maybe it's because he smokes too much and his palate is deadened by the severe effect of the tobacco. Maybe he's drunk too many stouts to appreciate a good amber, and his views are skewed too far to the extremes to appreciate a mellow summer ale.
Bullshit.
Everyone who had tried this beer, afficionados and non-afficionados alike, had declared that it was completely lacking in character, and they couldn't wait to hear what a self-proclaimed expert would say upon his own first blush. Margaret herself has confessed to reading this blog religiously, solely in anticipation of my review of this one beer. Well, Marg, here ya go. You and everyone else who was in on the joke, even my dear friend Dave, who has the least amount of acting experience among the lot of us, yet was the one person above all else who convinced me of this swill's potential merit...you're all motherfuckers.
Except Holly. Calling her that would be grounds for a divorce, which I don't want. Coming from her, it's kinda cute.
Refill?: Who gets the last laugh? Dave, you're the asshole who spent the money to buy it: 0 taps out of 5.

2009-06-08T22:13:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Double Dog Double Pale Ale
The Still: Flying Dog Brewery
Denver, Colorado
http://www.flyingdogales.com/
The Drill: Double Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 11.5% ABV
The Spill: Part of Flying Dog's Canis Major series of big beers, the Double Dog is a bull mastiff of a brew. An all-out assault on the taste buds, this beer holds nothing back, overwrought with hops, malt, and plenty of alcohol. Amber-red in color, the beer is murky, though no research turned up any word on it being unfiltered. This can only mean that there's so much stuff crammed into this beer that, yeast or not, it's no longer transparent. The mouthfeel is a bit on the heavy side, again reminding you that you're drinking a big, massive brew. It's very well-crafted though, and not just a crowded party of ingredients. The malt, interestingly enough, is the lead agent, brown sugary for just a moment before the hops kick in. The hoppy body, at an underestimating 85 IBU, is insane: sharp, piercing, piney and bitter. But at the moment when a beer face seems inevitable even to the most experienced drinker, it subsides back into a rich, malty finish, just like the bottle's label promises. Each sip is kind of like a slap in the face and a kiss on the cheek. Which is good, if you're into that kind of thing.
Says Bill: The last time I reviewed a beer by Flying Dog, I was fortunate enough to receive a comment from Josh Mishell, who's affiliated with Flying Dog in some way, shape, or form. I panned the Road Dog Porter, saying it was thin and lacking, but he thanked me for "writing about us" just the same. Josh, if you're reading this, my friend, I must say I'm impressed by this beer.
Refill?: I double dog dare you to try it for yourself: 4 taps out of 5.

BEERS 87 & 88: THE CHARLIE BATES SPECIAL

2009-06-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Shiner Bock
The Still: Spoetzl Brewery
Shiner, Texas
http://www.shiner.com
The Drill: Bock beer, 12oz bottle, 4.4% ABV
The Spill: As equivalent to Germany as hefeweizens, bocks are traditionally mellow, lager-type beers with a light, bready, malt backbone, free of the bitterness of a strong hop addition. At a scant 13 IBU, this beer certainly delivers on the non-bitter side of things, but unfortunately, it's lacking in nearly everything else as well besides color. It's mahogany hue leads the drinker to think he may be in for something with a little more character than what lies in store. The brewery's website promises a mellow beer with no bitter aftertaste. It says, "Just think of it as Shiner smooth." Bill's Beer Wall says, "Just think of it as Shiner bland."
The Swill: Old Milwaukee Beer
The Still: Jos. Schlitz Brewing Company
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
http://www.oldmilwaukee.com
The Drill: Commercial American Pilsner, 12oz can, 4.6% ABV
The Spill: The beer pours a sickly pale yellow with a foamy white head. The nose is barely existent, pilsner-like with a slightly sour note. The flavor is watery, ever-so-slightly bready, and somewhat metallic from the aluminum can it was poured from. The mouthfeel is thin, with just enough carbonation to remind you that what you're drinking is some sort of attempt at beer and not just tainted city water.
Says Bill: My buddy Charlie is a one-of-a-kind individual. An extreme musicphile, his favorite bands are ones I've never even heard of. He was the first person I met with an iPod, and he had over 4000 songs on it 6 years ago. I can only imagine how many he keeps on it now. The man is totally underground when it comes to his tastes, and I think he likes it that way. A lot of people take pride in their non-conformity and antiestablishment attitudes. My favorite bands are the Rolling Stones, the Black Crowes, and Bob Seger, in that order. Pretty establishment from anyone's perspective. Also, Charlie, who spent some time in Texas after graduating high school in Connecticut and college in Oklahoma, fell in love with the Lone Star State, and, following a five-year stint in California where we became friends, moved back there with his wife, Molly. His favorite beer is Shiner Bock, and he extolled its virutes to myself and our fellow beer lovers, mainly, I think, because it was yet another thing we had never heard of that he had some kind of unique inside track on. That being said, it was difficult to smile at Charlie the day he gave me a 12-pack of Old Milwaukee at my 30th birthday party. I figured it was some kind of off-center joke on the beer guy, but Charlie swore it was one of his favorite beers. Granted, he and Molly also picked out a couple other beers for me that I had never tried, which I will review much more positively in the coming weeks or months, but how frickin' establishment can you be when you drink Old Milwaukee? Maybe he had a secret fetish for the days of the Swedish Bikini Team. Don't remember what I'm talking about? Here's a reminder.
Refill?: Sorry Charlie.
Old Milwaukee: Well, it's better than Romulan Ale: 0 taps out of 5.
Shiner Bock: Well, it's better than Old Milwaukee: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sam Adams Double Bock
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
http://www.samueladams.com
The Drill: Double Bock Lager, 12oz bottle, 9.5% ABV
The Spill: The third and last in the Imperial Series to be reviewed here, this beer pours brown, as deep, clear and rich as the bottle it lived in. The nose is thick and inviting, nutty and sweet with bountiful malts. The mouthfeel is fuzzy and a bit slick, a telltale sign that nothing was skimped on with regard to high amounts of ingredients. The flavor is just as rich as its appearance and aroma, with a mellow roasty front, a wheat roll body, and a sweetness at the back that lingers well past the finish. The high alcohol is well concealed by the beer's metric ton of character.
Says Bill: I'm drinking this as I write about it, and extemporaneously blogging as I go. Normally, I like to make notes on a beer before I start creating an entry online, but I was dying to have this beer after a long morning of playing plumber, and it was the last one in the fridge, so I knew I had to blog about it while I enjoyed it. Not like it's decreasing my enjoyment of it any. If anything, it's like composing an impromptu love poem to the woman you're lying with while she's still there. Perhaps I'm waxing more romantic because I'm in the heat of the moment as I write this.
Refill?: Since it's a double bock, does it count as a menage-a-trois? 4.5 taps out of 5.

2009-06-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Anchor Porter
The Still: Anchor Brewing Company
San Francisco, California
http://www.anchorbrewing.com
The Drill: American porter, 12oz bottle, 5.6% ABV
The Spill: Roasted and robust, this porter exemplifies the greatest aspects of its genre in a big, rich way. Sweet, syrupy molasses flavors meet in the middle with dark, bitter coffee, and create a brew more formidable than many pretender stouts. It compliments both chocolate desserts and charred steak incredibly well.
Says Bill: I had my most recent bottle of this beer at a steak restaurant near LAX owned by famed football coach Don Shula. A few days ago, Holly and I celebrated our dating anniversary at Fleming's, which is an even higher-end steakhouse. We each ordered a $50, bone-in filet mignon, and I was dying to have one of these to go along with it. I spoke with a manager at the restaurant, urging her to look into expanding their beer list to match their wine list, and used this beer as a prime example for excellent food and beer pairings.
Refill?: My steak restaurant's waiters would recommend the caBEERnet: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-06-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Union Jack IPA
The Still: Firestone Walker Brewing Company
Paso Robles, California
http://www.firestonewalker.com
The Drill: India Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 7.5% ABV
The Spill: The Union Jack pours a buttery gold with a slightly off-white head. An intense, floral, hop aroma hits the nose immediately, and prepares the drinker for the taste. Hoppy and floral, the body is all IPA, with a sharp, clean finish and just a touch of buttery malt at the end. Nothing out of the ordinary for an IPA, but well-crafted nonetheless.
Says Bill: This beer has a flavor aspect that I like to call "soapy." It sounds weird, but I'll try to explain: the clean aroma of the alcohol, fused with the perfume from the hops, creates both a taste and olfactory sensation that reminds me sort of Ivory soap. It's a little astringent, and it often turns folks off, but it's something that can easily become an acquired taste, hence the plethora of hop heads out there. Next time you try a pale ale or an IPA, see if you can't pick out what I'm talking about, and share your thoughts. Maybe there's a better descriptor out there that I haven't thought of yet.
Refill?: I'm not saying it'll remove stains, but a few might flush out your plumbing pretty nicely: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-06-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale
The Still: Blue Moon Brewing Company
Toronto, Canada
http://www.bluemoonbrewingco.com
The Drill: Ale brewed with natural flavor, 12oz bottle, 5.6% ABV
The Spill: Another prime example of a fun concept that falls boringly short, the pumpkin ale is an oft-seen addition to beer shelves during the fall. Most are like this one: orange beer. Some, like Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale a few entries down the list, fall even shorter of the intended goal. If you're looking for nutmeg or pumpkin pie, don't stop here. Keep moving.
Says Bill: I always have to try these when they come out, just in case I find one I can rave about. So far, I haven't found much. The Blue Moon line isn't expensive, so it's a great thing to pick up and dump off at a party full of college students or people with no real acumen for good beer. However, if you're seeking your own enjoyment from this, you'll find it's more of a trick than a treat.
Refill?: Remember the look on Charlie Brown's face when he realized there was no Great Pumpkin? Yeah, it's like that: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-06-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Dundee Original Honey Brown
The Still: Dundee Brewing Company
Rochester, New York
http://www.dundeebeer.com
The Drill: Lager brewed with honey, 12oz bottle, 4.5% ABV
The Spill: Honey beers are a mighty popular brew in the U.S., despite the fact that most are mighty disappointing. No exception, this beer tastes neither like honey, nor is it brown. Far too light of a beer is used as the base for this brew, and far too little honey is added to make a difference. The final product is something that's basically wet, and, provided you put it in the refrigerator before drinking, cold.
Says Bill: Holly loves a good honey beer, but hates a bad one. She picked this up in Arizona on our honeymoon, when we made a stop to bring some alcoholic beverages to the dude ranch we stayed at. Our room had a fridge, but the place didn't provide any alcohol, so we were left to our own devices. The bee on the label was awfully cute, and we have this thing where we call each other Bee as a term of endearment. (Most people shorten the word baby to babe, we went the other way with it.) So, we thought it'd be worth a try. We were wrong.
Refill?: I wouldn't even give it a Bee-minus. Get it?: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-05-31T08:48:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Deschutes Jubelale
The Still: Deschutes Brewery
Bend, Oregon
http://www.deschutesbrewery.com
The Drill: Seasonal Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 6.7% ABV, available October through December
The Spill: What this beer has in common with other winter ales is its inclusion of dark malts, in this case, crystal malt, usually a major constituent of brown ales. What it doesn't have in common with other winter ales is its plentiful hop addition, making it taste more like a pale than a winter warmer. However, both flavors combine to produce a beer that tastes like one you'll only get around Christmas time. If it's Christmas Eve, and you've already had the Full Sail Wassail and the Anchor Christmas brew, and you're falling asleep into sugarplum dreams and still have to wrap presents, this will serve as a nice wake-up.
Says Bill: This is a great holiday session beer, and Deschutes has been crafting it for some 20 years now. In fact, it was the first brew that they put in bottles. Every year, they choose a new artist to create the label, so if you're a beer bottle collector like me, you'll want to grab a new one every year.
Refill?: The again, if you're a beer drinker like me, you'll want to grab one every year too: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron
The Still: Dogfish Head Craft Brewery
Milton, Delaware
http://www.dogfish.com
The Drill: Brown Ale aged on Palo Santo wood, 12oz bottle, 12% ABV
The Spill: Aged in a brewing tank made from Palo Santo wood from Paraguay, the people at Dogfish Head claim this tank, at 10,000 gallons, is the largest wooden tank built in the U.S. since before prohibition. More important than the tank's size is what it does to the beer. Woodiness does not begin to describe the intense flavor this beer has taken on in its journey. It's a full frontal assault on the taste buds, slightly spicy, quite alcoholic, and bolder than any other brown ale can ever hope to be. The Palo Santo wood, coming from the South American "Holy Tree," is also used in wine casks, a tradition where woodiness is a more common aspect of the final product.
Says Bill: I was quite surprised by this beer when I first tried it. The bottle's label says to be on the lookout for vanilla and caramel notes, but all I got was wood. Wait, that sounds bad. Actually, it sounds like a rave review, doesn't it? In any case, this one's not for the faint-hearted. Its high alcohol content can present quite a daunting flavor in itself for inexperienced drinkers, so hold on tight. I'd like to try it again myself, but at $12 per 4-pack, it's not at the top of my priority list.
Refill?: Darn it, there's a hole in the label of the bottle I saved. I sure wish someone would get me a new one: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samuel Adams Holiday Porter
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachutsetts
http://www.samueladams.com
The Drill: American Porter, 12oz bottle, 5.8% ABV, available in winter
The Spill: First introduced in 2004, the Holiday Porter is found in Sam Adams holiday variety 12-packs. Rich with dark malts, sweet coffee and chocolate flavors, this is a holiday treat. Similar to their Honey Porter but slightly less sweet, it's the kind of beer this drinker could easily order year-round. Brewed with five malts, including a trademarked German malt called Carafa, the porter blends sweetness and robustness into a rich, slightly creamy body, and finishes itself off with enough hops for a clean, punctuated finish.
Says Bill: I do wish I could get my hands on this on a regular basis, although the Honey Porter is just as good, if not slightly better. Sam Adams has often done a good job at following tradition closely in their beer crafting, and in the olden days, beer this good only came around during the holidays as well, when the brewers felt a little extra generous with their ingredients. I suppose it only makes sense that they hold it back in order to give us a little extra holiday cheer.
Refill?: Black Butte take note: this is a porter: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Black Butte Porter
The Still: Deschutes Brewery
Bend, Oregon
http://www.deschutesbrewery.com
The Drill: American porter, 12oz bottle, 5.2% ABV
The Spill: One of Deschutes' first three creations, the Black Butte Porter is a rare find in that a brewing company would choose a dark beer to name as their flagship brew. Not that there's anything wrong with that as far as this drinker is concerned. However, they also acknowledge that they made it to be smooth drinking as well as robust, and truly, only one characteristic can win out. In this case, the smooth wins out. At 30 IBU, there's no bitterness to back up the smokiness that's all too fleeting, nor is there any real thickness to the mouthfeel to encapsulate the flavors and hold them a little longer on the tongue. Porter's aren't brewed to be stouts, but many are made stouter and more enjoyable than this one.
Says Bill: If there wasn't so much more that was available on the darker end of the spectrum than this beer, I suppose I would be satisfied with it. However, it does the job when there's nothing else around to compete with it. It's a wise reach for someone who's just learning that there's more out there in the way of dark stuff than just Guinness, but for my experienced dark palate, it just doesn't quite cut it.
Refill?: It's decent, no ifs, ands, or...ahem, buttes...about it: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Snow Cap Seasonal Ale
The Still: Pyramid Breweries
Seattle, Washington/Berkeley, California
http://www.pyramidbrew.com
The Drill: Seasonal Winter Ale, 12oz bottle, 7.0% ABV, available October through January
The Spill: This winter beer, brewed in the tradition of English holiday ales, combines caramel and chocolate malts with a slightly higher alcohol content, producing a snuggly, fuzzy, warming beer, perfect for the colder holiday season. Dark fruit notes are prevalent in this brew as well, but are well-balanced by the breadiness inherent in the plentiful malts.
Says Bill: I like this beer, from its dark, oaky color to its full aroma, to its complex, nutbread body and warm finish. It's one of those beers that goes great with traditional holiday desserts, from gingerbread cookies to fruitcake. Except it's better than fruitcake.
Refill?: I think I just blew my punchline: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
The Still: Michelob Brewing Company
St. Louis, Missouri
http://www.michelob.com
The Drill: All-malt ale brewed with pumpkins and spices, 12oz bottle, 5.5% ABV, available in fall
The Spill: Imagine a beer brewed without hops. Now, imagine a beer brewed by Michelob without hops. Now, color it orange. You have Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale. No malt backbone is to be found in this brew, and the pumpkin and spices aren't readily there, either. It's basically orange water that you can only get part of the year.
Says Bill: I usually try to save my opinions for this part of the blog, and use The Spill to provide an accurate representation of what a drinker might experience for him or herself, but frankly, this was the best I could do. I was very disappointed by this beer when I brought it to a party. Then, when I took an empty home (I surrendered the rest to Frank's unlucky fridge), I examined the label and saw the Michelob brand for the first time. It was then that I was no longer surprised by what a letdown this beer was. I have two very good friends, Suki and Brian, who are fellow beer afficionados and live in St. Louis, and I wish all the big corporate American mass-producing beer machines would move out of there so they didn't have to live in a city that caught such a bad rap for making nasty piss beer. Suki and Brian, this is my wish for you, my friends.
Refill?: Look on the bright side: at least you can't buy this crap all year round: 0.5 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Asahi Black
The Still: Asahi Breweries, Ltd
Tokyo, Japan
http://www.asahibeer.co.jp/english/
The Drill: Dark Lager, 11.2oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: Not a stout, and not to be confused with one, this beer presents a light body with a semi-dark flavor. Basically a lager made with roasted malts, the mouthfeel is as easy as other lighter brews, yet a bit of roasty bitterness can be detected. Overall, not an impressive beer, but a pretty good effort from Japan, a country not immediately thought of as a brewing nation, and a textbook example of the beer's genre.
Says Bill: I drank this bottle in Bishop, California, over Thanksgiving weekend 2008. It was the first time we had visited Bishop since Yamatani, the new Japanese restaurant in town, opened for business. The beer went very well with the meal, and was exactly what I expected. And truthfully, even I wouldn't drink something like an imperial stout with crab rangoons, eel, and chicken katsu. Neither the beer nor the cuisine would be complimented. Interesting note: the beer is imported into the U.S. by Asahi Beer U.S.A., Torrance, California.
Refill?: If you're eating Japan's food, try their beer. If you're not, stick to their movies: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-05-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Gulden Draak
The Still: Brouwerij Van Steenberge (Steenberge Brewery)
Ertvelde, Belgium
http://www.vansteenberge.com/htm/2en/21300en.htm
The Drill: Belgian Strong Dark Ale, 11.2oz bottle, 10.5% ABV
The Spill: Very characteristic of other Belgian brews, the Golden Dragon presents a dark, fruity, sweet and sour aroma and flavor amidst bountiful carbonation. Other reviews refer to the bubbly body as "sparkling" and "highly charged." To this drinker, this serves as a distraction when trying to let the beer settle on the palate for examination and enjoyment. The malt is abundant, but takes the form of fruit over bread, partially because of the special yeasts used in the crafting. The high alcohol gives the plum and sour cherry notes a brandy-like aspect, but again, brandy shouldn't have quite so many bubbles in it.
Says Bill: There are some people, like my friend Margaret and my buddy Vic (both followers of the Wall, by the way), who love Belgians, and there are some people like me who don't particularly care for them. That won't stop me from trying a new one, but they truly do have a style all their own which you can point out after only a few samples. If that style is for you, you almost can't go wrong with anything exported from that great beer nation. If it's not, you almost can't go right.
Refill?: Not that I'm saying Belgium sucks, but they do make Budweiser now: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-05-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sirius Hi-Gravity Cream Ale
The Still: Lagunitas Brewing Company
Petaluma, California
http://www.lagunitas.com
The Drill: Special Release Cream Ale, 12oz bottle, 7.0% ABV
The Spill: The idea behind a cream ale is to blend a malty sweetness and a creamy mouthfeel. The brew can be hoppy as well, but the mouthfeel is what sells it. At 40 IBU, this brew ranked a little higher on the hops side of things than anticipated. More disappointing was the letdown in the mouthfeel department. Compared to some other brews that boast the same thing, and some that don't, but feaure it anyway, this one left much to be desired.
Says Bill: I must say, I bought this beer out of season. It was a special spring release, which I bought in the fall, so it may have been the fact that it was past its prime that made it such a disappointing buy. The name is alluring, and conjures things like cream soda and creamsicles to mind. When you don't find that, or anything remotely similar to that, it can be kind of a bummer. I'd be interested in trying it again though, and fresh this time, just to give it another shot.
Refill?: I'd say it deserves a second chance. Siriusly: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-05-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Walker's Reserve Robust Porter
The Still: Firestone Walker Brewing Company
Paso Robles, California
http://www.firestonebeer.com
The Drill: American Porter, 22oz bottle, 5.9% ABV
The Spill: Robust is a word that's thrown around a great deal in the world of dark beer, but this one lives up to having the word in its name. A rich, heavy beer, laden with dark, bitter coffee notes and dry, roasted malts, it's everything that most dark beer lovers crave. An uncommon find, it's also an uncommon creation for a company whose motto is "Passion For the Pale." However, the folks at Firestone Walker do it up right with this bold American take on a classic English recipe.
Says Bill: I had to choose a beer that I loved in order to make my return to blogging. It's been nearly a month--a very busy month--since I last wrote on this page, and to my fans--all three of you--I sincerely apologize. I hope never to make you wait this long for a new post again, much like I wouldn't want to wait this long between good beers. By the way, this beer just became available again. I found a few cases of it at my local Bevmo. Run out and grab it quick if you want to give it a try.
Refill?: The Robust is a must: 4 taps out of 5.

NOSTALGIA...

2009-04-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Dave dropped off about five boxes' worth of beer bottles from my collection. He still has five more to bring over, but it was a nice start. Of course, if I were to only blog about the beers I already had over here to begin with, I'd be well over a hundred by the time I got to the old stock. Not that I want to do that, since my plan was to blog in random order from the very beginning, and I'm excited to share some of the older bottles in my collection with you, Dear Reader, as well as the stuff I've only recently sampled.
In any case, I'm home today with lots of free time, so I decided to grab a box from the garage and begin photographing bottles. It was just my luck that the first box I grabbed happened to be the one with the bottles in it that I prize most. I opened it and smiled, and set up the bottles to get their pictures taken. It was then that I noticed how dingy they were, not just with dust, but with some very fond memories of a bachelorhood spent in Ohio as a very bad cook.
See, when Dave, Sean, and I had our apartment together, we set the Beer Wall up on top of the cabinets in our tiny corridor kitchen. Being young, single men in our early 20s, none of us possessed a great deal of cooking prowess, except maybe Dave, but his specialty was making cobbler in a cast iron dutch oven while it lay buried under the coals of a roaring outdoor fire. None of us really knew exactly how to prepare a meal over a stove without getting grease everywhere and setting off the smoke alarm. There were many a Saturday morning breakfast that served up black pancakes and crunchy eggs, courtesy of Yours Truly, and Sean believed no dinner could be cooked without using some kind of liquor as a major ingredient. His specialty was tequila-lime chicken, but once he decided to pan-fry some burger patties, and ran out of his sauce of choice. As a result, he reached for a bottle of Galliano that he received as a gift. Galliano, if you don't know, is a green, anise flavored liqueur, which to most people probably tastes like black licorice. For good measure, he threw in some Blue Curacao, which tastes like oranges. Once the flames died down, he brought dinner out to the living room. I took one taste and decided that one should never use these flavors to make a hamburger ever again. I believe it was the last time Sean ever made dinner for me. Sean seemed to enjoy his creation, however, and finished his burger, as well as mine. It's my theory that he probably enjoyed everything his wife Nicole ate while she was pregnant as well.
In any case, these bottles have a film on them from three years of single-guy kitchen adventures that took place a few feet beneath their perch, as well as three years' worth of cigarette smoke. This was Ohio in the last millenium, where you could smoke anywhere. Even non-smokers bought cigarettes so they could light them and put them on incense trays, just to give their place some atmosphere. I saw the condition that these bottles were in, compared to the new ones I've been posting online, and decided I needed to give them some TLC. I brought the box into the kitchen and wet a sponge, and proceeded to scrub the film off them, while trying not to damage their wet labels in the process. I set them up to dry, and was pleased with the result. I snapped their photos, and will be posting them soon.
It's funny how something as trivial as some grime on a bottle can bring back fond memories, and I was almost sad to wash the grime away, as it was put there during a great, happy time in my life. However, I have a new mission now, which I must not ignore: bringing you the highest quality, entirely-biased, self-serving beer blog I possibly can. It is for you, Dear Reader, that I have washed away the evidence of good times and bad cooking, although the memories will remain indelible forever. Much like Sean's special burger, which I swear I can still taste even now.

Nasty.

2009-04-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Kiltlifter Scottish Style Ale
The Still: Four Peaks Brewing Company
Tempe, Arizona
http://www.fourpeaks.com
The Drill: Scottish-style Ale, 12oz bottle, 6.0% ABV
The Spill: With a name like Kiltlifter, a beer ought to have something to prove. The people at Four Peaks describe Kiltlifter as amber colored. Traditionally, this is a no-no for Scottish ales. Their plentiful malts usually darken the color to somewhere in the brown family, and one taste proves that the color isn't the only thing watered down about this beer. It's far off the mark for a good Scottish ale, falling short in every category from maltiness, to robustness, to alcohol content.
Says Bill: This was another beer I picked up on my honeymoon. The Oak Creek beers were decent on tap, but disappointing in bottles. This one I never got to drink on draft. Every one of the beers I had that were crafted in Arizona seem to be made for warm weather rather than extreme experience. This one's just a sad thirst quencher wearing a funny hat with a little orange ball on top.
Refill?: In Arizona, it can sometimes get pretty hot. There. I just made as gross an understatement as this beer does: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-04-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Red Trolley Ale
The Still: Karl Strauss Brewing Company
San Diego, California
http://www.karlstrauss.com
The Drill: American Red Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.8% ABV
The Spill: True to form for a red, this beer uses caramel malts to accomplish a sweetness not found in ales which are dominated by hops. While it pales in comparison to Sam Adams' Irish Red, it's a decent brew that can be found around Southern California with some regularity.
Says Bill: My buddy Frank likes this beer. I recall eating with him at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Hollywood, and seeing him go back to the bar for seconds while we waited to be seated. He went to college in San Diego, so maybe that's where he had his first bottle. Or maybe he was just getting more adventurous in my company. By himself, behind closed doors, he's a Corona drinker. When I'm around, I shame him into drinking something with a little more quality. That's usually the way it works when I'm with people. Most folks are grateful. The others I don't hang out with anymore. Just kidding. But not really.
Refill?: If it's good enough for Frank, it's good enough for me. Except that's flawed logic, because Corona sucks: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-04-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samuel Adams Imperial Stout
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
http://www.samueladams.com
The Drill: American Imperial Stout, 12oz bottle, 9.2% ABV
The Spill: Another member of the new Imperial Series, this one's certainly not for the light-hearted. Black and opaque with a rich mocha head, this beer more than lives up to the promise of its name from the moment it's poured. The potent nose is dark with licorice and alcohol, and the full-bodied flavor is intense, featuring the same flavors detected in the aroma, along with sweet, sticky molasses. A good deal of hops adds a sharp bitterness to the already robust, coffee-like bitterness. The mouthfeel is heavy; like a dessert wine, legs stain the glass yellow, and the lacing clings to the sides well. The last pour from the bottle spirals as it travels into the glass. Overall, this beer is intense, dark, bitter, thick, and sexy. Those with a sweet tooth should stand warned: there's no chocolate here - this is a serious stout for serious drinkers.
Says Bill: I decided that the beer I should write about for number 69 should be a beer that's almost as good as sex. This one fits the bill. There are good stouts, and there are great stouts, and this one is a great stout. In fact, I haven't had many that are better. It's a meal in a glass, and I know the same has been said about Guinness, but this is way, way more the case. It's a beer you must savor, a beer in which you must take your time drinking. It's an experience and an endeavor, and not everyone is going to like it this way, but pair this beer up with its perfect partner and you'll have a match made in Heaven. I am that partner, and I bask in its alcoholic afterglow.
Refill?: Yes, yes, yes, in the style of Meg Ryan: 5 taps out of 5.

2009-04-18T16:42:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Stone Cali-Belgique IPA
The Still: Stone Brewing Company
Escondido, Califronia
http://www.stonebrew.com
The Drill: India Pale Ale, 22oz bottle, 6.9% ABV
The Spill: This is Stone IPA with a Belgian strain of yeast used to ferment it. It pours a light amber color with a thick white head, which leaves tremendous lacing on the glass. (Lacing, in case you don't know, is the trail of suds that stick to the sides of the glass as the beer's level decreases with drinking.) The nose is undeniably IPA, sharp with hops, and Belgian too, with a little sweet clove thrown in. The taste is clean, and quite hoppy, with a mouthfeel that's surprisingly light for a beer with such intensity. The finish is all IPA, with the hops stinging the back and sides of the tongue, but the overall flavor and character of the beer is somewhat mild for a Stone creation.
Says Bill: In reading the story on the back of the bottle, I learned that the brewers at Stone have paid tribute to the bilingual nation of Belgium by creating two separate labels for this one beer: "Cali-Belgique" for the French speakers, and "Cali-Belgie" for the Dutch. Each is of the same availability as the other.
Refill?: Oui oui. But please, not in my wooden shoes: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-04-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Franziskaner Dunkel Hefe-Weisse
The Still: Spaten-Franziskaner-Brau
Munich, Germany
http://www.franziskaner.com/
The Drill: Dark hefeweizen, 25oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: This unfiltered wheat beer pours the color of mulled apple cider. The flavor is light, wheaty, and fruity, traditional of hefeweizens. It has a touch of banana from the esters, and a finish that's earthy, with just a touch of bitterness on the sides of the tongue. The slightly dirty finish is really all that jumps out with regard to the beer's dark color, so don't expect this to be a perfect marriage between light and dark; this is still hefeweizen all the way.
Says Bill: My buddy Victor and I had an unplanned gift exchange a couple weeks back. I brought a beer to work for him to try, and he brought a beer the same day for me. We laughed at the irony, and each went home and enjoyed the other's gift. I saved mine for when Holly got back from Ireland, since she's more the expert on hefeweizens than I am. She enjoyed the taste and detected the banana, which is her favorite aspect of a good hefe. That reminded me of the time I went to Bevmo to find her some beer she'd love. I followed the recommendations of a guy named Mike Haubrich that I knew there and bought a few different ones to try. The night we drank Victor's beer, I went downstairs and dug to the back of the beer fridge, and what did I find? Another bottle of the exact same stuff that we never drank. Sorry Vic, I coulda told you what I thought of that beer before you spent your money, but things sometimes get lost in Bill's Grand Vault of Beer.
Refill?: Next time I need to make the wife happy, I'll consider picking this up: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-04-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Tropical Mango Pale Ale
The Still: St. John Brewers (contractor)
St. John, Virgin Islands
http://www.stjohnbrewers.com
Shipyard Brewing Company (brewer)
Portland, Maine
http://www.shipyard.com
The Drill: Pale Ale with natural flavor added, 12oz bottle, 4.5% ABV
The Spill: This beer possesses a sweet, syrupy aroma, reminiscent of fruit canned in its own juices. The flavor possesses a strong mango presence, but the fact that it's brewed into a pale ale rather than a wheat beer gives the beer a light hoppy bite toward the finish. It's a nice reminder that it's beer that's being drunk and not a wine cooler, that wouldn't be there had the brewers gone the typical wheat beer route to make this tropical concoction.
Says Bill: I drank my second bottle of this beer over the weekend, along with some Chinese take-out. I ordered sweet and sour chicken, and Holly got something with mango in it. Both foods paired nicely with this brew. With the weather warming up, it'll be a nice alternative to cool off with.
Refill?: It'll also be a nice alternative to bringing a fruit platter to your next barbecue invitation: 2.5 taps out of 5.

2009-04-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Buzzsaw Brown Seasonal Ale
The Still: Deschutes Brewery
Bend, Oregon
http://www.deschutesbrewery.com/
The Drill: American Brown Ale, 12oz bottle, 4.8% ABV, available January through March
The Spill: Named in honor of the logging industry in the Pacific Northwest, this misnomered brown ale possesses no qualities that would lead one to equate it with a buzzsaw. Typically brown in color with a light tan head, everything is mellow and quiet about this beer, from its earthy nose to its bland, unassuming maltiness, to its complete lack of hops. In fact, its alcohol content, being under 5%, can't even conjure the allusion to getting buzzed off an easy-drinking swill such as this.
Says Bill: It saddens me to have to say bad things about a beer from Deschutes, which is one of my favorite breweries, but this beer doesn't cut it for me. Admittedly, the brown ale is a very hit-and-miss genre of craft beer; many of the ones I've tried have been as unremarkable as this one. Good ones are fantastic, but bad ones are just heartbreakingly boring. Look in the future for some great ones, as two in particular have come to mind while I've written this. However, we'll have to slog through plenty more bad ones together while we get there.
Refill?: If you're the type who will sometimes settle for a Newcastle (Eric Wylde), you'll enjoy this: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-04-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sam Adams Blackberry Witbier
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massacusetts
http://www.samueladams.com/
The Drill: Wheat Ale brewed with blackberries and spices, 12oz bottle, 5.5% ABV
The Spill: Another addition to the Brewmaster's Collection, this beer pours out a slightly murky honey color. Immediately, the aroma of fresh blackberries is evident and pronounced. The taste is unsuprisingly fruity and pleasant, with a decent malt background to back it up, which lends the beer a biscuity character, like that of a scone with blackberries baked in.
Says Bill: Sam Adams has become more and more adventurous in recent years, perhaps due to the success of the craft brewing industry, which, of course, owes nearly full thanks to them to begin with. With craft beers not only becoming more diverse, but more available, I think the folks in Boston realized that they, too, now needed to step up their game. Enter the Brewmaster's Collection and the Imperial Series. Not every beer is for everybody, but they now have such an enormous variety that there's something for everyone.
Refill?: This one isn't my favorite, but it's well crafted, and it's going to become someone's favorite. Who's probably female. And there's nothing wrong with that: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-04-04T22:37:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Telegraph Robust Ale

The Still: Telegraph Brewing Company

Santa Barbara, California

http://www.telegraphbrewing.com/

The Drill: Specialty Ale, 64oz growler, 7.9% ABV

The Spill: This unique ale is the color of apple cider, with a rocky white head. Fruit flavors are prevalent in all of Telegraph's beers, an ode, they say, to the style of beer that was native to the West Coast in the 19th century. This one presents orange and spice in a malty nose, with a flavor that is decidedly more hoppy, offering citrus and clove, and a slightly astringent flavor. The malt is still there, though, and you can find a nice little bit of apple if you search for it.

Says Bill: This wasn't our favorite stop on the beer tour, but it was our last and we were pretty spent by then. All in all, Holly and I drank 21 unique beers that day: 8 at Island, 9 at the Brewhouse, and 4 at Telegraph. It was exhaustive, it was intoxicating, and it was something I'd do again in a heartbeat. It was one of the most thoughtful birthday presents I'd ever gotten, and, most importantly, it was the beginning of Bill's Beer Wall. I spent so much time talking about and trying beer, it made me focus on the experience for days after, and want to do something to share all of my experiences with anyone who was interested in reading about them. It could have been much less fun if we'd had a lame tour guide, but Marcus was the shit. If you're ever up that way and want to experience the joy that is 4 hours of steady beer drinking for yourself, check out Captain Jack's. Here's a free plug: http://www.captainjackstours.com/

Refill: For the beer, 2.5 taps out of 5. For the experience, 5 taps out of 5. For having the best wife ever: tapless.

2009-04-04T22:15:00.000-07:00

The Swill: The Obamanator
The Still: The Brewhouse
Santa Barbara, California
http://www.brewhousesb.com/
The Drill: Scottish-style ale, 64oz growler, ABV unknown
The Spill: A mighty concoction crafted in honor of our new president, the Obamanator pours out a deep caramel leather color, featuring a maple head that dissipates rapidly. The nose is intriguing, with heavy notes of wood. The rich body is also woody, smoky and heavily malted, lending it a strong, brown-sugary sweetness. Such a bold ale of this variety is often quite alcoholic, but this one didn't taste overbearing. There's no bitterness to be found, either from alcohol or hops, both of which have succumbed to the intensity of the plentiful sweet malts used in its creation.
Says Bill: This was easily my favorite of the many beers that Holly and I had in Santa Barbara that day. We were led through 9 beers at this stop alone, and our host was none other than Pete, the Brewhouse's brewmaster. He took great pride in his creations, as well as his workshop, which he gave us a full tour of. This beer tastes like a Scottish to me, though Pete confessed that he didn't follow any traditional guidelines in crafting it. He kinda threw everything in there that tickled his fancy at the time, and came up with some good one-liners to accompany it. "I figured it should have some of same things you want in a president: a good head, a decisive finish..." He reminded me a lot of my buddy Scott in PA, both in the timbre of his voice and his eccentric sense of humor. We bonded easily, and had a great time drinking together. Oh yeah, I didn't mention yet...Pete drank each of the brews with us, and stood a lot steadier than we did at the end.
Refill?: This is a beer you could see yourself drinking for the next four years, and quite possibly elect it for a second term after that: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-04-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Starry Night Stout
The Still: Island Brewing Company
Carpenteria, California
http://www.islandbrewingcompany.com/
The Drill: English/Irish Stout, 22oz bottle, 7.0% ABV
The Spill: Like so many foreign-style stouts, the bold look of the beer belies its flavor. It pours out of the bottle black and opaque, with a brown head on top. However, any kinship to a big beer ends pretty much then and there. The nose is dark, earthy, and somewhat metallic, a trait this drinker has often noticed in English beers. The taste begins alright, with a deep roasted front and a bit of molasses, but it quickly sours around the sides of the tongue, and is too weak for a big finish.
Says Bill: One good thing about this beer is that I enjoyed it on tap as part of my 31st birthday present. Holly surprised me with a beer tour around Santa Barbara, courtesy of Captain Jack's Tour Company, a local outfit that offers everything from beer and wine tours to ocean kayaking. Our guide Marcus, a native Oregonian, enjoyed the beer talk as we both extolled the virtues of one of our favorite breweries, Deschutes, located in the city of Bend. He was great, the girl behind the bar at Island was kind and informative, and Holly also bought me my current favorite t-shirt there. If you've seen me more than twice since February 1st, you've probably seen me wearing it.
Refill?: I'd take a pass, though it was my favorite brew there. To your right is the beer graph I drew up--or drank up, if you prefer--at Island, where less beer in the glass equals more enjoyment. For this one, I'd give it 2 taps out of 5.

2009-04-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samuel Adams Imperial White
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
http://www.samueladams.com/
The Drill: Imperial White Ale, 12oz bottle, 10.3% ABV
The Spill: The brewers at Sam Adams have launched a new series of beers called the Imperial Series. Each of the three beers in this line are brewed to be big. The Imperial White is a wheat ale, a style not typically known for bigness. However, this one is an enormous, exquisite exception. It pours a hazy, orange-copper color with a cream-colored head. The nose is citrusy and orangy, with more hop character than usually found in a wheat beer. The mouthfeel is delightful: malty and a tad syrupy. Carbonation is plentiful in a glass, but not so much that it fizzes on the palate like a Belgian. Taste characteristics include orange, coriander, and lots of malt. The sweet orangy flavor and the thicker mouthfeel give it a candy-like appeal, not unlike the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA that's been reviewed previously in this blog.
Says Bill: I really like this beer. It sells for $10 per 4-pack, which is steep, but you're getting a lot of bang per bottle in terms of flavor and alcohol, which, by the way, is well-disguised by the beer's overwhelming personality. Fast fact: the Russians got their hands on some English stout in the 19th century, which was brewed bigger and with more alcohol to help it keep over the long journey. It quickly became a favorite among the nobility, and "imperial stouts" were born. Since then, the term "imperial" has come to mean big, much like "double" has.
Refill?: Finally, a wheat beer that truly kicks ass. Let it kick yours: 4.5 taps out of 5.

2009-04-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Midnight Sessions Lager
The Still: Port Brewing Company
San Marcos, California
http://www.portbrewing.com/
The Drill: American dark lager, 22oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: A rare treat, this is a lager that uses roasted malts to give it its black color and light brown head. Scents of the roasted malts include rich odors of coffee and toffee. The mouthfeel is all lager, light, but rich from the robust ingredients. The taste isn't quite as bold as the aroma, but a nice bitter finish punctuates the end of this easy drinking beer.
Says Bill: This beer is great for dark beer drinkers who want something they can chug down. To me, it's reminiscent of Sam Adams Cream Stout in its flavor, and of New Belgium's 1554 Ale in its robust drinkability. It's not often you see a dark lager, or at least one as dark as this, even though there aren't really any limitations as to what you can put into one. Its definition merely requires it to be fermented using a certain type of yeast and to be done at a certain temperature. The ingredients can vary. I like that the brewers have chosen to make this one for the dark lovers.
Refill?: After 59 beers, I'm starting to run out of clever endings: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-04-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samuel Smith's Organically Produced Ale
The Still: The Old Brewery at Tadcaster
Tadcaster, England
http://www.merchantduvin.com/pages/5_breweries/samsmith.html
The Drill: English-style Ale, 18.7oz bottle, 5% ABV
The Spill: Yorkshire's oldest brewery (est. 1758) pours out this highly-carbonated, saffron-colored ale. A crisp pilsner aroma greets the nose with just a hint of citrusy hops. The mouthfeel is less crisp than the nose, approaching creaminess, though not quite hitting the mark. The body and flavor of the brew is decidely English, with a breadiness that sours toward the finish. This beer would nicely wash down some corn chowder in a sourdough bread bowl.
Says Bill: Another online reviewer said that Sam Smith's beers were always a let-down once he tried them, based on all the good things that he'd heard. I tend to agree, save for their oatmeal stout. But I've talked about that before, and I need to save more information on that one for its own review. Stay tuned.
Refill?: Organic ale that goes well with sourdough. The San Francisco treat: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

The Swill: The Big DIPA
The Still: Cica's Blue Frog Grog & Grill
Fairfield, California
http://www.bigbluefrog.com
The Drill: Double India Pale Ale, 25.4oz bottle, 8% ABV
The Spill: This brew pours out of the bottle amber, with a frothy head light cream in color. An immediate citrus/hops aroma hits the nose, and combined with the smell of the alcohol, creates a scent very close to that of a citronella candle. It drinks with a bready mouthfeel and a starchy body that presents a light malty front followed with a fairly strong hoppy finish. It's bottle-conditioned, which means that not all of the yeast is removed from the brewing tanks before bottling. This becomes evident the further into the bottle you get, as subsequent pours become more foamy, and the brew itself becomes murky with sediment, definite signs that you're drinking down some of that yeast with your beer.
Says Bill: "Double" often means, quite literally, double. As in twice the amount of everything thrown into each batch. The result is usually something that's--you guessed it--double the strength of its single counterpart. This one, however, doesn't come off as big as its name would lead you to think. I've had some regular IPAs that blow this one out of the water when it comes to hops and bitterness. While more isn't necessarily better, putting "double" in the name of your beer usually means you're shooting for bragging rights, and you'd better have something gigantic for the people who are looking for just that.
Refill?: Holly's not a DIPA fan. She says it tastes like pinecones: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-04-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Perla Chmielowa
The Still: Perla - Browary Lubelskie S.A.
Lublin, Poland
http://www.perla.pl
The Drill: Pilsner, 16.9oz bottle, 6.2% ABV
The Spill: This Polish brew pours a brassy color with a white head. It starts off highly carbonated, but quickly settles down. The smell is a malty, somewhat sour one, typical of beers of this region. Little or no hops are to be found in the nose of this beer, or for that matter, the taste. The flavor is bready and malty, albeit it in very light fashion, and the mouthfeel is light as well: watery and clean, but not crisp.
Says Bill: I'm no expert in Polish, but I believe this beer is pronounced SHMEE-a-LOW-va. I'm not crazy about pilsners, but the Polish are. Much of the stuff that comes out of eastern Europe is stuff like this. In fact, pilsners got their name from the village of Pilsen, which is located in the region of Bohemia in the Czech Republic. This really isn't strong enough for a session beer; I think anyone's palate would tire quickly of it due to its extremely mild flavor. However, it seems like a great choice to go with a light fish dinner, or to chase back a few pierogi on a hot summer day.
Refill?: If only people would lighten up about polack jokes the way the Polish have lightened up about beer: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-03-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Pyramid Apricot Weizen

The Still: Pyramid Breweries, Inc

Portland, Oregon

Berkeley, California

http://www.pyramidbrew.com/

The Drill: Wheat beer with natural apricot flavor added, 12oz bottle, 5.1% ABV

The Spill: Offering a taste and aroma just as promised, this beer is rife with the scent and flavor of sweet apricot. A great pairing for a style of beer that's often already citrusy, the apricot is a nice accompaniment in this hefeweizen, which is what Pyramid is best known for making.

Says Bill: If you've ever ordered a hefeweizen on tap, the bartender often serves it with a lemon slice. The two tastes go well together because of the esters created in the beer's fermentation process. What's an ester, you ask? According to the New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, an ester is "an organic compound...formed by the reaction of an acid and an alcohol." Some esters taste citrusy, others flowery, others like banana, others like herbs or spices. All of them add more character to a beer, and in some cases, define the beer's personality almost single-handedly.

Refill?: If apricot's what you're looking for, and almost all you're looking for, look no further: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-03-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Stone Pale Ale
The Still: Stone Brewing Company
Escondido, California
http://www.stonebrew.com/
The Drill: American-style Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.4% ABV
The Spill: While the brewers claim that this is their version of an English-style pale, it's much stronger in flavor than most you'd get from across the pond. That, by all means, is a good thing. A big malt character that's noticeable really only by its addition to the overall flavor, the main course in this beer is the hops. It provides a sharp, bitter, heady taste and a crisp, dry finish. It also gives the beer enough gusto that your third will taste pretty much just like the first.
Says Bill: The best glass of this I've drank was the one I had on tap in the lobby restaurant of the San Diego Marriott, only about an hour's drive away from where it was brewed. We were out of town for my stepdaughter Hannah's 10th birthday, and this was a little present for me. Poured into a glass, this was much darker than you would have expected, given the beer's name, but pale ale doesn't refer to the color of the beer; rather, it's the color of the malts used in the brewing, which doesn't always dictate the final outcome. Little fact for ya.
Refill?: When Sam Adams and Sierra Nevada aren't enough hops, reach for this one. Hops galore for a company's standard beer: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Samuel Adams Irish Red
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
http://www.samueladams.com/
The Drill: Irish Red Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.5% ABV
The Spill: As mentioned two posts below, words like caramel are often used to describe subtleties in beer, which not every drinker will notice. However, this beer takes caramel to another level, and anyone who tries it is sure to get the hint. Special malts called Caramel malts lend this flavor, and the brewers must have used quite a liberal amount of it. What's best is that this is truly a two-part beer, where the hops greets you up front and the Caramel malt then serves as a sweet finale.
Says Bill: Another edition of Samuel Adams Brewmaster's Collection, this is a very enjoyable and complex beer. I remember trying this beer for the first time this past summer in the kitchen while I was helping Holly prepare dinner, and being blown away by how different the beer tasted at the end of the sip than in the beginning. The hops delivers a nice, gentle bite before being overcome by the malt, behaving like dinner and dessert with every swallow. Holly really liked this beer too, and coincidentally, she's in Ireland right now vacationing with her cousin Dawn. I may have to give her a six pack as a welcome home present when she comes back tomorrow. Serendipity, or just a great segue? You decide.
Refill?: Erin Go Bragh! And Erin, go pick me up some beer while you're at it: 4.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Real McCoy Amber Ale
The Still: Mammoth Brewing Company
Mammoth Lakes, California
http://www.mammothbrewingco.com
The Drill: Amber/Wheat Ale, 12oz bottle, 4.5% ABV
The Spill: Coppery in color, this is a light, mild, easy drinking beer. Just enough malt adds a bit more character than the average light-fare ale, with a sweet body that's somewhat bready and buttery. The hops stays out of the way, allowing this to be an excellent beer to have after a long day's hike in the Sierras in July.
Says Bill: Having just enjoyed one of these this past Friday at Dave's, it brought back all the memories I have of seven different trips to Bishop, California. Most notably, I harkened back to the one restaurant I've never failed to eat at, Whiskey Creek. Holly and I ate there in 2005, and have brought all of our friends and family there who've subsequently traveled with us. With the exception of Frank, who was suffering from altitude sickness and bailed back to the room before ordering his food, everyone has had their favorite Bishop dinner at that place, and they keep several Mammoth brews available on tap. There's no place better when you've just hiked a few miles at a few thousand feet, and there's no better brand of beer to have when you're up that way, since it's made locally and delivered fresh. That said, this beer is bottle conditioned, and the one I enjoyed Friday kept nicely since its purchase last July.
Refill?: Nothing goes better with that cajun creamed corn pastry thingy at Whiskey Creek. Those of you who have had it know what I'm talking about: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-03-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Winter Hook Winter Ale
The Still: Redhook Ale Brewery
Woodinville, Washington
http://www.redhook.com
The Drill: Seasonal Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.9% ABV, available mid-September through mid-January
The Spill: A tasty winter brew chock full of malt--9 varieties to be exact--it's a warm-you-up beer that's well-balanced by 4 different hop additions. Like many malty ales, this one smacks of natural grain sugars that bring on a mellowy sweet flavor reminiscent of caramel. The hops adds a slight amount of its traditional bitterness and leaves a clean finish on the palate.
Says Bill: For you inexperienced beer drinkers, allow me to clarify something. A lot of people try to figure out just why a beer that's described as sweet still tastes like beer to them, and is pretty much as bitter and sour as any other beer they've had. Beer is not wine. For the most part, it doesn't have fruit in it. It's not that kind of sugar. Ever had Multigrain Cheerios? The O's are different colors and are made of different grains: white ones from rice, regular yellowish ones from oats, and brown ones from wheat. Ever notice the brown ones are the sweetest? It's that kind of sugar. Beer is fermented grain, and as long as you remember that, you'll know what kind of sweet you're searching for, and you'll find it and appreciate it more.
Refill?: Yes, and I suddenly have a hankering for Cheerios while I'm at it: 3.5 taps out of 5.

50 Beers!

2009-03-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

I've hit the first milestone in bringing you the many beers that I've enjoyed--as well as the many I haven't--in my 12 or 13 years as a beer drinker. So far, I've had a blast reminiscing about some of these beers, as well as some of the stories that go along with them. Others have escaped my mind completely.
Interestingly, all of the beers I've presented thus far are ones that I've tried only in the last 10 months. Any bottles in my collection that are older than that are currently being stored in my buddy Dave's attic. It is my aim that that changes this weekend. There are some great beers and some great stories that go along with some of the oldest bottles in my array, and I can't wait to share them with you.
To that effect, the picture I've decided to upload with this post is one of the original masons of the Beer Wall: myself in the middle, the architect, who broke ground on the wall's construction as an homage to my father; Sean, at right, a principal financeer, who paid for a lot of the brews back when he was the only one making any real money; and Dave, at left, who was integral in the wall's construction by helping with the drinking, even at a time when the stronger stuff left him with a nasty beer face. Thankfully, his years of experience under my tutilage have remedied that condition.
As many readers may recognize, this picture was taken at my wedding in October 2008, nine-plus years after we three became roommates and Beer Wall bricklayers. As this blog continues to grow, I think with pride of the way my collection has grown over the years, and of all the beers I have yet to share with you. Much in the same way, I think of all the memories that Dave, Sean and I have made in the two different decades that we've been friends, and the way our friendships have burgeoned and matured. Though Dave and I now live some 2600 miles away from Sean, our ties keep us much closer than that, and while I now have a wife and family, and may not get out as often as I used to for that all-important guy time, my bond with Dave is still one that allows us to remain close without necessarily being in each other's immediate proximity.
I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the picture's photographer, my great friend Frank, who has also shared many a new beer with me over the four-plus years that we've known each other, and has become one of my closest companions. And, if you look just over Sean's left shoulder, you'll see the tiny face of my beautiful wife, Holly, in the distance. Never in my life did I think I would find a woman who would share such gusto with me in my continuing beer adventures, and equally, if not more so, I never thought I would find a woman who would make me so happy sharing the rest of my life with.
Now, before this starts to sound like some kind of acceptance speech, let me close by saying that, while it may sound funny to you that I equate my closeness to these people with the amount of beer I've drank with them, I look back on each one of those beers as a building block of our relationships. Every sip was a moment we shared together, every new label was a new experience that we embarked on together, and every empty bottle was a memory we made together. All that beer was time spent in each other's company. All the conversation about the beer was time we spent talking to each other. Every purchase was a reason to invite someone over for some quality time. Over time, all that beer between myself and these four wonderful people has added up to some of the best times of my life, and all the beers that I've shared with everyone else are no less significant. After all, what is a beer if it's not shared between friends?

Na Zdrowie,

Bill

2009-03-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Stockyard Oatmeal Stout
The Still: Goose Island Brewing Company
Stockyard Brewing Company (D.B.A.)
Chicago, Illinois
http://www.gooseisland.com/
The Drill: Oatmeal stout, 12oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: More an American stout than an oatmeal, it presents a deeper, more bitter personality than the usually chocolately-sweet style. Like the malt found in dark beers, the oats are roasted, giving them a dark, toasty flavor to add to their natural sweetness. The result is a full-flavored beer that's more muddy than silky, more bitter than sweet, and more American than English: three criteria that raise the bar--and the tap rating--for this drinker.
Says Bill: I've only seen this beer at Trader Joe's, and, judging by all the online reviews I read, I think that's the only place it's available. Most likely, Trader Joe's has contracted Goose Island Brewing Company to create this beer (see their oatmeal stout at the above website) and allow TJ's to put their own label on it. It's a practice that's fairly commonplace, though annoying when you're trying to do research.
Refill?: Sure, and if someone out there wants to send me some of the Goose Island stuff, I'll drink them side-by-side for comparison: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-03-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sea Dog Riverdriver Porter
The Still: Sea Dog Brewing Company
Portland, Maine
http://www.seadogbrewing.com
The Drill: American-style porter with natural hazelnut flavor added, 12oz bottle, 5.6% ABV
The Spill: There are bad porters (see the Road Dog below), and there are good porters. This one falls in the good category, at least according to this drinker's palate. Rich and malty, dark and roasty, it's everything an American porter ought to be. Add to that the sweet, toffee-like flavor of hazelnuts tiptoeing delicately in the background and you have quite a treat for lovers of bitter and sweet alike.
Says Bill: I discovered this brand almost by accident, shopping for other people. I was out buying beer for another Frank cookout, and sought to please the masses by including some foo-foo stuff. Sea Dog makes a blueberry wheat that I'll blog about in the future, and the quality of that one made me want to check out their darker stuff.
Refill?: If you're like me, you like a hazelnut flavor in your coffee. And if you're like me, you like a coffee flavor in your beer. Needless to say, if you're like me, you'll want to drink this: 4 taps out of 5.

2009-03-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Road Dog Porter
The Still: Flying Dog Brewery
Denver, Colorado
http://www.flyingdogales.com/
The Drill: American English-style porter, 12oz bottle, 6.0% ABV
The Spill: A lightweight from a company that markets itself with intensity, this porter is everything that American craft porters have gotten away from. It's mellow, watered-down, and only somewhat malty, with little or no roasted quality about it. The bottle tells a story about how the company won the right to print the word "shit" on the labels, and the description of the beer is as follows: "This shit is some dark, rich, and malty shit. The best shit you'll ever try and that's no bullshit." If only it were true.
Says Bill: Flying Dog founder George Stranahan had close ties with the late Hunter S. Thompson. He also has ties with Ralph Steadman, famed Thompson illustrator, who has created the labels for all of Flying Dog's brews. The labels feature quotes from Thompson, and one beer, the Gonzo Imperial Porter, was crafted in effigy to him following his death. As brazen as the bottles are on the outside, however, the inside is a wholly different and disappointing story.
Refill?: I believe in the beer's motto: "Good beer, no shit," which is exactly why I've never tried it again: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Sam Adams White Ale
The Still: Boston Beer Company
Boston, Massachusetts
http://www.samueladams.com/
The Drill: White Ale/Seasonal Spring Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.2% ABV
The Spill: Rife with coriander and citrus rind, this beer exemplifies the classic Euorpean wheat beer. Somewhat piney and quite floral, the two characteristics meet in the middle to create an herbal quality. If you're into hefeweizens, give it a try.
Says Bill: This is the first time I've been disappointed by a beer in the Samuel Adams line, however, it's really not their fault. I just don't like this class of beer. The malt's not there, and neither is the hops. Rather, this fruity, herby thing is, with nothing else to back it up or rein it in. It's not what I look for in a beer. If you like the Rising Moon Spring Ale that I reviewed early on in my blog, you should love this one.
Refill?: As you may recall, I hated the Rising Moon: 1 tap out of 5.

2009-03-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

The Swill: Firestone Double Barrel Ale
The Still: Firestone Walker Brewing Company
Paso Robles, California
http://www.firestonewalker.com/
The Drill: American Pale Ale, 12oz bottle, 5% ABV
The Spill: A good, solid, craft ale with as much backbone as Sierra Nevada or Samuel Adams. Hoppier than the latter, and perhaps a touch maltier than the former, and nearly as widely available as both, this flagship beer of the Firestone Walker Brewing Company epitomizes the direction that American craft breweries have taken in the last 20 years, making standard beers that jive with the basic recipe of the mass-produced types, but bigger, bolder, and generally better in every way.
Says Bill: I first drank this beer in 2004 at the Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre in Claremont, California with my friend Robert. Soon after, I was seeing it in great frequency, and have even seen and heard a few ads on radio and TV. While I think Fat Tire has outsold the DBA by and large, I seem to recall seeing this one on the menu at more of the upscale steakhouses, perhaps because the company also has a line of wines.
Refill?: There's not much of a difference between Firestone, Sam Adams, and Sierra Nevada, but then again, there's not much of a difference between Bud, Coors, and Michelob. I know which group I'd go with: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-03-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Drop Top Amber Ale
The Still: Widmer Brothers Brewing Company
Portland, Oregon
http://www.widmer.com/
The Drill: Amber Ale, 12oz bottle, 5.0% ABV
The Spill: A great summer beer that's available year-round, Drop Top is a smooth, flavorful beer with a drinkability that doesn't mean it's lean on quality. Brewed with a strain of barley called honey malt and a touch of milk sugar, the 20 IBU beer is pleasantly refreshing. Two strains of hops give it a touch of bitterness, but no real bite.
Says Bill: This is what drinkers call a session beer, meaning it's a brew you can have several of without growing tired of it. This is the kind of beer that will satisfy the masses without being made in masses. Widmer is best known for their Hefeweizen, which is widely available in bars and restaurants, however, this one is equally sure to please the beach and barbeque crowds. Warm weather is definitely a prerequisite for me on this one, but less hearty palates will enjoy this one anytime.
Refill?: As long as it's convertible weather, I'll pop the top off of one of these. Say, you think maybe that's how they came up with the name? Rhetorical question: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-03-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Midas Touch Handcrafted Ancient Ale
The Still: Dogfish Head Craft Brewery
Milton, Delaware
http://www.dogfish.com/
The Drill: Specialty Ale brewed with honey, saffron and muscat grapes, 12oz bottle, 9% ABV
The Spill: Based on a recipe that dates back some 2700 years, this brew claims to be inspired by the oldest known fermented beverage in human history. The same ingredients are used, and the barley/grape combination lands it somewhere inbetween beer and wine. The honey addition helps settle the debate closer to the mead side of things, both in taste and its somewhat sticky mouthfeel. It's not quite the syrupiness of a dessert wine, but as beers go, it may be the closest you'll get. At 9% alcohol, the strength of the beer is also a noticable flavor characteristic.
Says Bill: Picture a mead that wants to get you home and take your clothes off. It's tough to have more than one of these in a sitting, both because the taste is so intense, and because the alcohol will sneak up on you. It's a long-drinking beer, and one you shouldn't be afraid to let warm up as you go. Perhaps the best beer to offer to a wine snob who normally wouldn't touch anything with a bottle cap on it.
Refill?: This Midas may not turn everything it touches to gold, but enough of it could turn your liver into diamonds: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Meantime Coffee Porter
The Still: Meantime Brewing Company
London, England
http://www.meantimebrewing.com/
The Drill: English porter fermented with ground coffee and lactose, 11.2oz bottle, 6.0% ABV
The Spill: It's a novel, but not-unheard-of concept, combining two of America's biggest beverage vices: put caffeine in beer and you won't get sleepy drinking it. The fictional Buzz Beer from "The Drew Carey Show" had the same gimmick. Little did the writers know that something like that already existed. In fact, several do. This one even aims to kick in the cream and sugar by adding lactose, a dairy constituent, into the mix. The full flavor falls a little short on account of its porter foundation being the typical watery English variety, but the coffee notes do stand out, and pleasantly so. Additionally, the brewer says that each bottle's caffeine intake is equivalent to a full cup of coffee.
Says Bill: Beers can get a roasted coffee flavor without the addition of actual beans, simply by roasting the malt before brewing with it. The more it's roasted, the darker it becomes, and the darker it turns the beer. Bet you can guess which styles of beer use roasted malts now, can't you?
Refill?: Good thing I didn't know about this stuff when I was studying for college finals: 3.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-02T21:36:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Mojave Gold and Mojave Red

The Still: Indian Wells Brewing Company

Inyokern, California

http://mojave-red.com

The Drill: Mojave Gold: Lager, 12oz bottle, 4.4% ABV

Mojave Red: Lager, 12oz bottle, 5.5% ABV

The Spill: Equally as weak as their Blackout Stout, the Indian Wells Brewing Company offers up two more low-grade brews from their tanks. The Gold is the lighter of the two, pilsner-like in its inability to satisfy. The Red offers a bit more, slightly breadier and a tad more bitter. Both are hard to come by unless you're in a Whole Foods Market in Southern California, but neither one is worth hunting for.

Says Bill: The funny thing is, I've driven by the headquarters about a dozen times on my way to and from Bishop, and have always been curious to stop in and visit. It's always been on the weekends, and they've always been closed. The more stuff of theirs I try, however, the more I realize I don't think I'm missing much.

Refill?: Use it to water the cacti: Gold: 1 tap out of 5; Red: 1.5 taps out of 5.

2009-03-02T19:11:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Abita Amber Ale and Abita Purple Haze
The Still: Abita Brewing Company
Abita Springs, Louisiana
http://www.abita.com/
The Drill: Amber Ale: Munich style lager, 12oz bottle, 4.5% ABV
Purple Haze: American wheat beer with raspberries added, 12oz bottle, 4.2% ABV
The Spill: When a brewer uses terms like "slight" or "delicate," they usually mean nonexistent. Thus is the caramel flavor of the Amber Ale. However, slight is a good thing when it comes to the Purple Haze. Unlike the previously mentioned Wild Blue, the drinker at least knows they've got a beer in their hand, and not a wine cooler when they're drinking it. Unfortunately, it's a weak beer that tastes a little like raspberry. Neither brew is big on character, or hops for that matter. Appropriate for the timid, but boring to the adventurous.
Says Bill: Just like Scoville units measure spiciness in chili or a habanero pepper, they also have a measurement for bitterness in beer, appropriately named the International Bitterness Unit, or IBU. It generally runs on a scale of 0 to 100. The higher the IBU rating of a beer, the more hops that were added, and the stronger and more bitter it tastes. Many great beers have high IBU ratings without having a hoppy sting however, because it's well balanced with malts. More of everything, in other words, which is usually not a bad thing. These two beers have extremely low IBU ratings: the Amber Ale rates a 17, and the Purple Haze a 13. Bland.
Refill: Raspberry is not just a flavor of beer, it's the sound I make when offered one of these: Amber Ale: 1 tap out of 5; Purple Haze: 1 tap out of 5.

This One's For the Kid.

2009-02-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Frostie Vanilla Root Beer

The Still: Leading Edge Brands

Temple, Texas

http://www.leadingedgebrands.com/

The Drill: Root beer flavored with vanilla, 12oz bottle, 0% ABV

The Spill: This is a drink that can be enjoyed straight from the bottle. It shines a deep, dark, reddish brown through the vessel. Upon twisting off the cap, the spicy aroma of sassafras invites you in for a taste. At first blush, it seems nothing more than the typical, gingery, carbonated bite of a standard root beer, but about two thirds of the way through the vanilla presence makes itself known. The bubbles fizz away, the palate acclamates to the bite, and the finish is all mellow sweetness. A true delight for those looking for a good sassparilla, and to change gears a bit from the norm while they're at it.

Says Bill: My last trip to Bevmo included a hunt for some interesting pop for Hannah to try. She's as devout a reader of my blog as anyone, even though she doesn't like beer. She won't even taste it, on account of the fact that she can't get past the smell, which I suppose is just as well, considering she's 10, and the police can read this blog just like anyone else.

Refill?: Hannah says 4 taps out of 5. Look for her upcoming blog: Hannah's Root Beer Wall.

2009-02-23T18:27:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Southern Hemisphere Harvest Ale
The Still: Sierra Nevvada Brewing Company
Chico, California
http://www.sierranevada.com/
The Drill: Pale Ale, 24oz bottle, 6.7% ABV
The Spill: The people at the successful Sierra Nevada Brewing Company went to an extra expense for this beer, claiming to be the first brewery in the Northern Hemisphere to create a beer made from hops grown in the Southern. They picked, dried, and shipped the hops from New Zealand to California in a week to preserve maximum freshness and flavor. The result? Pale ale.
Says Bill: Look, I take nothing away from the folks at Sierra Nevada. Their porter is good, their stout is great, and their pale ale is what put them on the map. I've enjoyed it many times, most notably the day it was dyed green at the St. Patrick's Day wedding of my friends Charlie and Molly in 2007. I drank ten of them that night in true Irish fashion, being the 25-percenter that I am. However, I didn't find anything truly unique about this one that justified all the trouble that they went through to produce it. Frankly, I think they just wanted to have a neat story to put on the outside of their bottle. That said, it's still a fine beer, like Sierra Nevada makes, it just wasn't revolutionary.
Refill?: At least it's proof that they grow something in New Zealand besides sheep: 3 taps out of 5.

2009-02-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

The Swill: Blue Star Wheat Beer
The Still: North Coast Brewing Company
Fort Bragg, California
http://www.northcoastbrewing.com
The Drill: American Wheat Beer, 12oz bottle, 4.5% ABV
The Spill: The wheat beer has undergone the opposite transformation in coming to the United States as most European styles: instead of being made bigger and bolder, it's become meeker and milder. Most fruity beers (actual beers with fruit flavors added) start out with an American wheat beer base because it's easy for the fruit flavors to take over. Blue Star is one big exception. Stronger than some wimpy pale ales, there is a definite bite at the end of this one. Then again, North Coast doesn't like to do anything wimpy, even beers that are supposed to be that way.
Says Bill: I picked this one up to bring to another no-air-conditioning party at Frank's. I was looking for something to chug, and what I got was something a lot more. One of those rare instances where I was disappointed by getting more than I bargained for.
Refill?: This is not a beer you want to take for granted like so many other wheat beers. You probably don't want to add blueberries to it, either: 2 taps out of 5.

2009-02-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

The Swill: San Miguel Premium Lager
and San Miguel Dark Lager
The Still: San Miguel Corporation
Manila, Philippines
The Drill: Premium Lager: Lager beer, 12oz bottle, 5% ABV
Dark Lager: Lager beer, 12oz bottle, 5% ABV
The Spill: Hailing from the endless network of tropical islands in southeast Asia, these brews are unmistakably warm-weather beers. Their main purpose is to quench thirst, rather than impart certain adventurous flavors. This they do well, the Dark Lager a tad more than the Premium in my opinion. However, by and large they are, again, pretty bland and stereotypical.
Says Bill: It's hard for me to say something bad about a product of the Philippines, seeing as how I'm married to someone who received half of her genes and all of her impressive cooking skills from that great nation. Most of my in-laws have Filipino blood in them, and as fun as they are, as colorful as the Filipino culture and its customs are, and as awesome as their native dishes taste, it's hard to believe the Philippines would settle for beer as plain as this. Then again, since World War II, there's been a tremendous American influence there, so perhaps it's all Budweiser's fault again.
Refill: Maybe one, just to wash down the Bagoong. Inside joke. Premium Lager: 1 tap out of 5; Dark Lager: 1.5 taps out of 5.